No love after dirty talk?

A female age 36-40, *oeisme1982 writes:

I feel I have to explain this first part for the story to make sense. Growing up, I was very sheltered from anything sex. Never spoken about, if someone as much as kissed on tv, it was turned and the my mom would go "eww that's disgusting, why would you want to clean somebodies mouth with your tounge. gross!" I never even got "the talk". My period was explained to me, but the "sex" part never came. Well Im pretty sure this screwed me up and why I have a problem with confidence with my sexuality. I never got with guys in school or hit boy crazy because I was mortified of what my mom would do if she found out. My senior year, I had my first boyfriend. I lost my virginity a month before my 18th birthday, and it was the most akward experience of my life. I did agree to it though. He was with me over 18 months and told me to tell him when I was ready. But I don't think I was ready, I was just doing it so he would leave me alone about it. Well as life went on, found out he wasn't the guy for me and I moved on with life. Got with a guy who is now my husband. We have been together over ten years, married for 6, and have a son together. Through the years of our sexlife I have had many severe struggles. Afew years into our relationship, I found porn. I was so absolutely devastated and hurt. I kept quiet about it for months, but then I let it out that I knew, and that I forbid it. He did continue to do it, but discretely. This battle happened for years until I finally learned and opened my eyes and strenuous research that it was ok. I came to terms with it, and thouroughly enjoy it myself. I learned that you gotta have fun in the bedroom on my journey. After all these years that just hit me like a rock that the bedroom is about fun, love, and being with somebody to share all your inner thoughts and fantasies with and to just be uninhibited with eachother. Not a shameful act, that cant be talked about, or be happy about. But my husband has been really good with helping me. Ive never told him anything in the first part and im pretty sure I, gonna talk to him about it tonight. But one of the things that set me free was dirty talk. He has wanted it from me, but I just could never bring myself to do it, because it made me feel shameful. After looking into it for him a few weeks ago, I decided just to do it. Hes been asking for it for years. He would hint by asking what I want or how it feels, and even talked to me to try and get the ball rolling, that I never picked up. But I surprised him the other night, and just let it all out. It was so empowering and made me feel good. He even looked like he was trying as hard as he could to not finish so soon, so I didn't get much talk back lol. I will do it again and again and again. It was so so so great. I communicated with my husband. I spoke the words to him he's been dying to hear for a very long time. But Im still that cuddle dork. I thought maybe he would be endowed to me after a session like that, and text me the next day saying how awesome it was and thank you! But I never did. He did however sent me a text saying how much he loved me and how he will always love me and that I was the best thing in his life. A text like this is not common at all. Should I take this compliment and apply it to the bedroom, or am I overanalyzing. I was expecting him to be head over heals, hornball cant wait to get to my dirty talking girl, but it didn't happen. WTF?

View related questions: confidence, lost my virginity, period, porn, text

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