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female
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*rina1969
writes: dear cupid i need help don,t no what i am feeling i am married been married for 11 years i have 4 children age between 10-19 i have a great husband but he boreds me to death i love him but i am not in love with him anymore and i feel terrible for that. i have been working for the same comapany for 10 years which is a male work place i have a male friend which i have had for 6 years we share everything together i am there for him and he been there for me he 14 years older than me at frist it was like a father figure. he always tell me how could i look and and is always making sexual remarks i tell him we are great friend and i don,t want to lose that if we ever did anything we would lose are friendship but lately i have start to have feeling for him when we are not togther i miss him i have never even kiss the person but over the years i have become very close to him i feel like he has worn me down . i have told he i am strating to have feeling for him and i don,t want to feel like this but he then said he never notice pleses help what should i do i feel i need to break away from him but we have always been there for each other Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): I think that is what this is all about. You miss your father. This man can replace that.
If he has worn you down; that isn't love as love isn't about pressure.
Get some counseling to address why you would still feel lonely and alone after years of marriage; that is your inner issues.
Because of your inner issue you have put unrealistic expectations on your husband and marriage.
It is within your power to turn your marriage around. If you recognize that there is a marriage breakdown; why aren't you out fixing it?
Suggestion.
Listen to an audio cd or cassette in your car on your way to work. It is called "RELATIONSHIP RESCUE".
Here is a synopsis.
From the Publisher
With Life Strategies, Phil McGraw helped hundreds of thousands of people take responsibility for their own actions and break free from self-destructive habits and situations. Now he turns his honest, unflinching eye toward relationships -- diagnosing them, repairing them, and maintaining them. This hands-on audiobook is for people who realize their relationship is in trouble, but who don''t want to give up on it. Dr. McGraw helps get relationships back on track with clear action-oriented steps for reconnecting partners.
* Diagnose the relationship
* Take personal responsibility
* Escape wrong thinking
* Embrace relationship truths
* Learn the formula for success in a relationship
* Renegotiate the relationship
* Learn to live with love and harmony
Relationship Rescue offers readers the chance for further happiness through meaningful, fulfilling relationships.
Also please seek some marriage counseling to address any unhappiness/issues. It may come out that this marriage is just another failed marriage and you both need to move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2006): Your right. You need to break away. You are heading down a slippery slope here. You need to try and focus your energy on your marriage and talk with your husband. Together you two need to figure out how to get that spark back.
This guy friend of yours won't have any respect for you if you give into your feelings and his advances. As a matter of fact, if he was a good friend, he would not make any sexual remarks to you at all. This is a toxic relationship. Don't be foolish and throw your marriage away. You have 4 children and a husband that need you and love you.
-J
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