A
female
age
51-59,
*heetah
writes:I have a question and a problem. I teach german to adults and have a student to whom I feel deeply attracted to. He has been divorced for a year and has a girlfriend - had one very quickly after his divorce. we know each other for about 9 months now. the vibe during the lesson is very pleasant, too pleasant. to make a long story short he has extended his course. i have tried to get out of doing it because it is getting too much for me and i find i get very upset if he mentions the girlfriend, which i usually provoke anyway. he is always giving me things like a pen and saying maybe you'll think of me tonight. he was terribly upset when i told him i would not be continuing the course with him (i changed my mind because of the problems to find someone else). during one of the exercises i would even be inclined to believe he said he loved me; but i can't be sure as it was half embedded in the exercise in the exercise book. he had to fill in 'of course' in a sentence 'Do you love me?' '...... i do. I adore you.' (in german of course) i asked the question 'do you love me? he answered yes i love you. i then told him he he had to fill in of course and he said without taking his eyes off my face, of course; i adore you, the tone of his voice was very self-confident and direct. i blushed. he told me i don't need to blush. i then just continued with the exercise as if nothing had happened. the next week he told me how his children get on with his girlfriend he has two girls 17 and 10. I have one boy 11. I am trying to be as professional as I can without compromising myself but i am thinking of stopping regardless. what should i do. oh yes; at the beginning of the course he invited me to his home for a pizza and i'm not sure if the look on my face prompted him to say his girlfriend will be there or not. he never invited me again. he also has offered me a laptop that he had lying around the house; but i had already replaced mine. our last lesson (of the first course ended a week ago) he invited me again to his home 'if i wanted to'. i just let the invitation slide, after all what am i supposed to say, only if your girlfriend is there? or only if your girlfriend is not there? i have no idea where i stand. i admitt i'm not very obliging to him either after all it is a professional situation. i don't know what to do i don't know if he is just fooling around or if he is seriously attracted to me. any ideas?
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female
reader, cheetah +, writes (10 March 2008):
cheetah is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks missaqua777 and Laura1318 for your advice. I think I'll go along with missaqua777 though, as it's true we're both adults and neither of us is married. I'll try and hold out to see where it goes if it goes anywhere.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): ok, i don’t think that you should feel guilty about feeling attracted to him, one because you’re both adults and we’re human beings, you cant help feeling attracted towards one another. I know though, it’s hard to tell if someone’s in love with you or just has a crush or infatuation on you-or could just be after you for one thing however they say that if there’s any doubt or hesitation in deciding whether it’s love-it’s not love? And this guy said confidently, looking you straight in the eyes that he does love you. I think that may mean he has strong feelings for you. Without a doubt he is seriously attracted to you however i think only you will discover whether it's love soon enough, you'll just know by instinct. also another thing, he seems quite an earnest guy, he's not playing mind games with you or giving you mixed signals and being straight with you i think he's genuine, if he does love you there's a chance he feels stronger feelings for you than his gf which he why hes inviting you.
I would wait a while until you discover more about him and his intentions, after all he does already have a gf, he may be a great actor and just want you for one thing, just be more cautious and dont be too forward at the moment.
well that's my take on it hope this helped x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 March 2008):
 Since he already have a g/f , he is most probably fooling with his teacher.Treat it as harmless flirting .
Be professional as it is your job.
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