A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so me and my well now ex have been dating for about a year and a half. I was 16 when I met him and we started dating when I turned 17. I'm 18 now and he's 21. We recently broke up for I don't even remember, but he "joked" that he wants to get with 20 girls and he's only on 6 now. Also he says he doesn't want me to worry on Halloween, because he hasn't drank in a while and basically he said he doesn't want to cheat on me(again). He stayed with me and my mother for about 3 months, because he had no where else to go. So he moved out today, usually he says goodbye to me, but I locked myself in my room(usually he breaks in and we talk about our problems) This time he just left, and he was going to come over tonight and stay over one last time but he has to bring his friend to school tomorrow and usually he would still come to stay? He picked his friend over me?! I'm just hurt because we broke up before but got back together, but I'm just so confused now. I don't what to do? I feel lower than low. In the past we started off great, got worst when he cheated on me with my bff(she dated him before me if that helps). And it got better than worst, he started getting verbally abusive, and than once he actually sat on top of me and pulled my hair than slapped me(there have been more than one times he hit me) I don't know I feel dumb, I gave him my virginity thinking we'd be together forever because I loved him. I still love him, but I am just confused, I feel used and gross and ugly. No one will want me and I don't want anyone else, I'm stupid for trusting guys. I just want to crawl in a corner and not come out, I want this pain to go away! But it wont! My heart feels like it is shattered. No guy will ever want me, they all just want sex! Every guy I've met only wanted that....I don't know what to do anymore :(
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broke up, cheated on me, got back together, moved out Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Wontonbomb  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 I realise that this question has gotten old, but I couldn't help but reply to the jaded woman below me.
Don't listen to a word she says. I'd hazard a guess that most guys out there are decent human beings. Not some, MOST. Yes you do get a lot of dickheads who want nothing but your body and will leave you as soon as you've slept with them. But every guy I know wants a girlfriend who he can take care of and spoil. All my friends would much rather find a nice caring girl to love rather than sleep around with dirty tarts with no self respect.
Just because the character below has had only bad experiences doesn't mean that you always will. There are going to be some heartbreaks, but stick at it and you will meet that one person who will walk to the ends of the earth and back for you.
good luck x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2009): Men are hurt? About what!? Their dicks are tired of having casual sex here, there, EVERYWHERE?! Men are dicks, they were and they always will be. If a guy that only want you for sex show up, tell them to go fuck themselves or pay a prostitute to "get their dicks wet" PERIOD. There are only one of two ways to treat a guy: 1. If he is a dick and tells you straight he wants sex, tell him to go fuck his mother and make his life a living fuckin hell. 2. If he comes with sweet talk, sweet suits, fancy dinners, etc..., don't believe in that horse shit and walk away as soon as you can, because in the end of the night he wants you to pay for the dinner by making you jump in the sack with him. UNDERSTAND? Fairy tales are fuckin over, everything sucks in the world and until there is a fuckin clean up in the world, it will only get worse. Don't be deluded, be unlightened, OPEN YOUR FUCKIN EYES!!! That said, good luck with that fuckin thing called life
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 October 2009):
 You feel dumb. Well, that is good, maybe it will encourage you to be smart in the future.
A lot of women use "I love him" as an excuse to stop thinking. You did. What you told here it must have been very clear that this guy is a loser and asshole. But you loved him, so you ignored the obvious signs and dreamed the very girlish dream that "my love will save him" and "gave" him your virginity. What was it supposed to be? A female version of a blood bond?
I am being harsh for a reason. Because as lousy a person he is for doing this, he only could do this because you let him.
What you got to remember is that emotions screw us up, it makes us look through the world through rose-colored glasses. Love really is blind. So you got to be smart and keep your eyes open. LOOK at what he does, don't just listen with your heart. The heart lies.
There are nice guys out there, but frankly they are not out there to clean up after the bad guys. Nice guys, want nice girls. Girls with a brain who can spot a bad guy a mile off.
So dry up your tears, accept that you made a wrong choice and try to learn from it.
Pinktopaz says a girl got kiss a lot of frogs. This is true, but it is KISS. Not fuck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): Yeah, not all men are in it for the sex, you are just very heartbroken right now and everything look much much worse than it really is. Give it time, and you will slowly get over this cheater and get back on your feet.
And for Illithid, there are woman out there who are honest and never will cheat! Me for one :) And I have a single girlfriend too who's more noble than anyone I know haha! Wish I knew you too then I could hook you two up on a blind date ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice, I just don't know where to turn? I know there is someone for everyone it's just hard to look, like you just want to give up on it. It hurts to get your heart broken, and being lied too. But I'll try and kiss more frogs and keep looking.....
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (30 October 2009):
Now, now--don't start feeling this way about yourself. You will come to find that most men are idiots...even the good ones are idiots, but that's just because they think completely differently than us and we just don't get it.
You feel like crap because you just broke up, and you're probably going to continue to feel this way off and on for the next several months. Please recognize that you're allowing him to use you. He was supposed to come stay over one last time...I'm guessing to have sex? I'm sure that wasn't only what you wanted, but probably all he wants. He's not a good guy, he's abusive and apparently only has one thing on his mind. Keep him out of your life for good.
It's true, all guys want sex (people in general men and women want sex), but there are guys that want more in addition to that. There are some guys that just want sex, and there are some that of course want sex but want to know you on a higher level. You're still so young, be patient. It's normal after a breakup to not want anyone else or feel like no one else will want you, but that's not true. Just take advantage of this time on your own to work on yourself. Do what you enjoy and do what you can that improves your life and helps make you an even better person. The right guy will come along someday, they are out there. That's why they say you have to kiss a lot of frogs. And one more piece of advice, DON'T date your friend's ex's!!! It causes drama and things that happen in your instance.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (30 October 2009):
 As a 25 year old male that has not gone past third-base (despite having opportunities) and who was engaged to a girl not long ago, I can say I'm living proof that I was in it for the long haul and loved her truly even though there was no sex in it for me. (I gave to her, she wouldn't give back.) So yes, there ARE men that don't cheat (me, for instance) and can love for more than sex.
I've asked a similar question a month ago on this site asking if there are any women that don't cheat or lie. I'm looking for one still, and you're looking for a good guy still. People exist for both of us, but we just have to keep looking.
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