A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just want to start by giving you a little background on myself before I ask the main question. I am a 31 year old very sexual person. I am almost constantly horny and when I don't have a girlfriend, I usually end up having sex 2-3 times a week with random girls from bars, clubs...A friend introduced me to a beautiful girl a few months ago and we clicked. We went out a few times and I was very attracted to her physically and obviously sexually. She turned my sexual advances down several times, but when we had sex for the first time, it was magical and very intense. We had sex a few more times and it was equally amazing until we broke up over casual arguments for about 1 month. We decided to meet again and work things out and went to a bar. I am not a very experienced drinker, but I had 2 shots of scotch, 1 tall glass of vodka with pineapple, and 1 tall glass of yager with coke, all within 90 minutes. We then headed to the house, made out and I was fully erect. She led me to the bedroom and as I was readying to penetrate, I lost my erection, which totally surprised me as this has never occurred to me before. After several futile attempts, she just suggested that I please her orally, which I did.After the deed was done, she jokingly asked: "all it took was 1 month for you not to be attracted to me anymore???". I was totally embarrassed and the only excuse I could come up with was the alcohol, although I wasn't noticeably tipsy!A day later, to compound the issue, she seemed very distant the following 2 days and now I am very anxious. For the past 3 days, my penis hasn't been erect (while before just the thought of her would give me a full erection) and my testicle sack has been uncharacteristically very loose. I tried to drink some foods that are high in protein and zinc but it's not doing the trick and I am afraid I may have performance anxiety the next time we attempt to have sex (if that ever happens). Also, I can't help to wonder what she is now thinking about my sexual prowess and whether this is going to affect our relationship negatively. Please advise...
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female
reader, wascallypawz  +, writes (10 February 2011):
Performance malfunctions do occur from time to time...the alcohol probably was a factor, and you also might find that you really like this person, which may subconsciously "freak" you out a little.
Joke back with her, assure her that it was a little malfunction, and was nothing to do with her. you are only human, and you aren't a performing robot.
Take it easy, relax, and enjoy the adventure, but most of all, be open and don't be embarrassed..you have no reason to be.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (10 February 2011):
Hi there. It probably is a bit of anxiety over not performing. It's affected your self-esteem.
Now you are probably assuming that it will happen every single time.
On the night it happened, you had drunk a lot of alcohol, which probably didn't help.
You did break up with her in the first instance, over something not very important. Perhaps it was more significant that you realize.
It's possible that this relationship is now over. Not because of your non-performance, but because of her response to it. It has stuck in your head what she said, and it's not going to go - no matter how hard you try.
The more you try to pursue it with her now, the more harm you will do.
It's probably wiser all round, for you to just leave her behind and find someone else.
It's had it's time.
Best wishes.
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