A
female
age
30-35,
*issaa
writes:My ex and I broke up last month and we have been in no contact for three weeks. He broke up with me saying we are not compatible. I took it pretty bad because it came out of nowhere for me. I did all the things i wasnt supposed to lol as in texting him and calling him, asking him to meet up. He basically said I dont want to see you right now. Yes, we had couple of fights but I think it was more of how he kept lying to me. He lied about texting his ex saying he misses her. I found out he talked to a girl from a dating site as well. Because of that we had trust issues and i became insecure. He said, "i need to be a own woman." anyhows long story short, we had no contact but i needed something from him so i broke it after 3 weeks. He then said how about we meet up on tuesday and grab a drink so i said ok. Then he texts me today saying he has work on tuesday because some new girl quit so he has to cover her shift. Hes said we're not obligated to each other so can we meet next week. Hes prioritizing his life and work comes first so he has to change the plans to next week. I said ok and then I told him hey if you're seeing someone or talking to anyone new, we dont have to meet up. no point in causing unnecessary drama. He said LOL im not seeing anyone or talking to anyone and im not going to. So we decided to meet next week. I wrote dont flake again and he hasnt responded for 2 hours. Is this a good idea? I am somewhat over him but not fully. I wrote down all his flaws and tell myself I hate this and that about this guy to make myself feel better haha
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broke up, his ex, insecure, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 May 2014):
 Make a LIST of what you need back from him, exchange that with him, but DO not fall into the "sex" trap. Because he might MISS that part of the relationship, but he was right you are NOT compatible, because he is not 100% there, he is busy with the ex and some random chick of a dating site. That should not be WHO you want to be with.
Personally, I think meeting up can be a good thing, but if you ar one of those girls who can't say no (because you HOPE to get back together) then you shouldn't met up.
A
female
reader, missaa +, writes (19 May 2014):
missaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea Im not 100 percent over him for sure but I am getting there. It would be alot easier if he started to see someone new cause then I think i can get over him in a instant. But he claims hes not talking to anymore nor is he going to. Who knows lol he can be lying again since hes very good at that
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A
female
reader, cattycakes  +, writes (19 May 2014):
There is no particular worry if you go or not. You say you are getting over him and I believe this to be true. He would have to make big efforts to make things up to you and I doubt he will try. He may just try to lot back where you left off. I do hope that if he wants to start seeing you again, you will at least put down some conditions. You could say you are unsure after the last debacle, but might be willing to see him once a week to determine whether it is right for you? Don't make it easy.
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A
female
reader, missaa +, writes (19 May 2014):
missaa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI need to get clothes back from him as well. I also lent him my sisters boyfriends sweater because he was cold and my sister wants me to get it back from him. I need to meet up with him regardless to sort out things. Yes i am hurting but I know i dont want him back because he hurt me too much. I deserve better and I realized i was settling for him.I dont want a person in my life who lies to me. We've only been together for 3 months so its not too hard because Ive def been through worse. Trying to get over a 2 year relationship was much worse than trying to get over this 3 month relationship. I tell myself, hey youve been through much worse, this is nothing so stop being sad and get up. Im just afraid he might say whatever and get me weak. The day before we broke up, he was telling me how if we take a step back we should be fine. He told me how much he likes me and loves talking to me blah blah blah. We had sex. Next day he said we're done. we're not compatible lol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2014): Listen to sugarplum786. Meeting up with him will be like having another dose of an addictive drug.... you THINK it will be just one more time and won't hurt you, but really it will take you back to square one in getting over him. It will HURT you seeing him, you will WANT him, desire him and start doing all the things that will push him away even faster - like texting and talking.You have to do NO CONTACT for at least six months.... and then try to NEVER contact again.I know you are hurting, but he is NOT your true-love. Your true love will NOT hurt you by txting ex gfs, or going on dating sites. Your true love will not lie to you.Be glad you are out of that toxic relationship, work through the pain alone, and do not hurt yourself again and again by contacting him.Cancel your meeting and say you have decided it is best you don't see him again.He will wonder why, he will want to know what has changed, and he will think of you. Otherwise, he is thinking you are a pain, clingy, and he is trying to get you out of his life. Show some class in his final experience of you, and cancel your meeting.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (19 May 2014):
 Its a real bad idea because you are still in love with him. He has made it clear that your'll are not together and he will not prioritize you. Meeting him and contacting him will only set you back. Let him go and move on. You were not happy in the relationship and he did not respect your feelings by contacting the ex or other woman. Why are you inflicting this kind of pain on yourself. If you were honest you are hoping for a reconciliation. If you want to heal, go cold turkey. I can tell you that if I was in your shoes I would also want to give into my weakness but know this that you will be starting from scratch in terms of trying to find your feet and forget him. Don't meet up with ex and yes it hurts but you will hurt even more after meeting him.
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