A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I did it in person, I did it as nice as possible, I did it affirmatively. I have ended the relationship, but he has not put me in the past. It's been a month and everyday it's 15 or more texts. So after the 2nd week I text him saying, "I'm sorry but I have moved on, I hope your life is all you want it to be"I only allow the texts because if he has no way of expressing himself I'm afraid he'll show up at my home.Not an option, it will not go well for him. Should I do something different, changing my number is not an option, it's my business number, it's a good one. I'm not getting pushed into changing my number.If I text him will he think that I'm interested again?That again would not be good. I've moved on, done is done. But how much longer with these texts?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHa, just signing in because I haven't in a while.
This HEX still texts me. I'm down to about 8 a month now.
So it's slowly leaving my vortex.
Just to think though almost a year of constant texts. My phone's memory is going to be diminished. Yes, I still keep them. But alas, the phone co. can't block them.
And this is my work number everyone knows.
I have set his number so that it has no ring. I don't even know if they come in until I open my phone.
It's all water under the bridge. Nothing there emotionally for me, not even anger. Blah, Meh, whatever. Life goes on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know, it's too embarrassing, and my pride is something too that stopped me from telling anyone. But I missed the red flags with all "I'm a nice guy" crap and then when he grabbed my phone and told an old flame not to ever call again, and his constant heavy duty PDA and his coming over even when I told him I'd like to be alone, and ooo the list goes on until I just had to get out. Oh, he was a mystery all right, not telling me where he lived, what his last name was, because he had some problems with his ex GF but now I think he was the problem, not her as he said. He's anti social, and then he tells me he's been on anti-anxiety medication for 2 years, after his GF left and his mother passed on. To which I find out much later he lived with his mother all his life, no one else. It was starting to feel like a Hitchcock movie. I think I felt sorry for him as I myself was coming out of a NonAvailable RS. Just goes to show you how you must keep your game together so as not to fall into the wrong RS. Also I was appreciating the pedestal until I realized it was just a ploy and a vice with a very needy, clingy man.
My bad, I stand corrected and aware. I take full responsibility for my actions, but I can no longer tolerate his.
Thanks for your help, I'll follow through.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 December 2012):
 Judging by the "quality " of the texts I would have guessed he was 15 not 55.. Wow. I think you dodged a really crappy guy there.
Hang in there, hopefully he will find someone else to bug.
BUT stay safe. He doesn't sounds quite right in the head.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I'll have the number blocked. I have also informed my good neighbor. Last night out of the 15 texts, there is about 10 to 15 every night, for a month now. He always texted too much, I used to tell him not to back then. Some good that did.We only dated for 5 months. Last nights messages consisted of:"No one will love you the way I do""Our love will go on forever""We will share the love between you and me""I know the day is coming soon... Ya, I'm coming back to you"Many others are just rude and sexually lude in a very illiterate and immature way.. This man is 55 for gods sake!I'm embarrassed to say the least. I am very independent and very busy. This is past ridiculous.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2012): "I only allow the texts because if he has no way of expressing himself I'm afraid he'll show up at my home."
OP just block his number, if you're using a smart phone then download an app and that can be used. You can also contact your provider to have his number blocked.
The texts will go on for as long as he wants because you allow them to continue, just block him OP it's easy. If he starts using another number block that too and go to the cops and report him for harassment. It may seem a bit extreme but the cops will go and talk to him and tell him that they've had a complaint. That should finally stop the obsessed little weasel.
OP you keep stressing that turning up to your house would not go well for him, this guy is a danger.
I don't care how timid the guy seems or how out of character doing something crazy would be, this level of obsession is enough to make nicest guys into lunatics.
Text him one more time and tell him not to text you again, if he even replies to this text you're going to the police to file a complaint, if he doesn't stop you'll press charges.
This kind of stalking is very serious I'm not sure about the law in Canada but here in Ireland they take it very seriously and the Gardai will contact the man straight away to warn him and there are a hell of a lot of other measures they will take.
The violence against women from ex boyfriends, murder rate on those women and the sheer emotional destruction caused by this kind of thing are a huge problem here, they're clamping down hard on it here because it's so serious, even the nicest guy can turn into a crazed animal after a break up.
You have to nip this in the bud now OP, this could get more serious.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 December 2012):
 if you can't block his number (which for us to block on our plan we have to pay extra) then just ignore him.
no response is better than telling him to leave you alone as he will interpret it as saying 'you have my attention"
much better to totally ignore him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 December 2012):
I would also look into blocking his number. You dumped him and he refuses to accept it, I would NOT contact him back, HE KNOWS - he just doesn't ACCEPT.
I would ignore, ignore, ignore if you can not block him.
If he shows up at your house DO NOT let him in.
DO not engage in anything else with this man.
Also if I would keep a journal of his contact attempts in case he comes to your house and you down the line need a restraining order against him. DOCUMENT it all.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (6 December 2012):
 Apart from completely ignoring his texts, can you not block his number on your mobile??
...............................
|
