A
male
age
36-40,
*antera06
writes:i have been with a girl for 4 year and love her very much my mates and family have been telling me to get rid of her for ages but i lover so much its my first serious relationship any ways it came to her 21st birthday i took her on a suprise mini cruise to brugge in belgium but when we went i dint get no kiss no cuddle no nothing we dont have a good sex life i am lucky if we do it once a month but i know she loves me so i had enough and said i want a break but i worry about her and still care for her i know we could get through it if we tried but i am sick of her showing me no affection have i made the correct desision
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Man, I just had damned near the same thing happen to me, except after 4 years she just broke it off claiming that I only want her for sex, when to everyone else including me I try to give her the world and threw my heart into this thing.It never feels good to break things off, but sometimes you're just not compatible. We tried to make it work, but she had issues with depression and if I said or did something slightly different from what she wanted, or if I just caught her at the wrong time, forget it--I had to make myself scarce. She got all cold suddenly after a nice day spent together, then when I did complain about a lack of affection she made her accusal. This has happened before, but this time was worse, and though she broke it off I told her we're seriously through.I just hope that, a few days from now when she comes to her senses, I'm strong enough to tell her that it's too late to change her mind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): She would say that as it makes you look bad and gives her the moral high ground. I think she is wrong though; sex is important in a relationship and you are not asking for too much by wanting to be sexually active, especially at your age. You have done the right thing by having a break. I know it's hard now but you will get through that. Find someone you are more compatible with. Be strong and good luck!
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A
male
reader, pantera06 +, writes (7 July 2010):
pantera06 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have spoke to her about it before then she says i just want her for sex when i dont i just want to be in a sexually active relationship with a girl that i love is that too much to ask
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A
male
reader, pantera06 +, writes (7 July 2010):
pantera06 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncos they say she rules me when she dont because it was my first saerious relation ship at first she did rule me not anymore i started to put my foot down on everything but the whole affection thing is driving me insane sometimes i think about having an affair but i love her so muuch and dont want to hurt her we had a brilliant sex life when we first started going out any bit of time we had we was at it like rabbits but now the passion has just died for her
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Why have your friends and family been telling you to get rid of her?
I think you were brave and right to call for a break, by the way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): Have you talked to her about these problems? If you haven't then you should. If you really love her you should be ready to work through whatever issues she might have. It might be a deeper problem and if you just sit down with her and discuss it then you might be able to work through it. Don't be afraid to tell her what YOU need, you're important too. But you need to communicate.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): I think its either that shes not physically attracted to you or maybe shes just not an affectionate person but I really think its the first one. That doesnt mean she doesnt love you or anything i just think the attraction isnt there...for here. I honestly think you should just talk to her about it, tell her how important it is to you that she isnt affectionate. If she truely loves and cares for you shell try and put ann effort to change. If not, then drop her.
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A
female
reader, Creolebite +, writes (7 July 2010):
Yes, you have made the right decision. I appears as though she is not as in to you as you are to her. Or just maybe she is trying to save herserlf for marriage...trying!! You need to talk to her and tell her to be honest with you regarding how she feels about you. Is it a feeling of friends or could there be someting stronger.
If there is someone in your family who you can relly trust, like Mum, or Dad, that has seen you two together, talk to them about what they really see. They have already told you to leave her...they are probably seeing something you can't. So, trust other to show you what you've been missing.
Good Luck.
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