| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Well i have been at this company for a few years..i always thought this one guy was good looking and had a good personality as well..just genuinly friendly it seems and very good at work--remains focused and motivated..he is pretty popular in the office as well..does get attention and i am very quiet..i socialize here and there but mostly just shy. I have been kind of down lately at work, not looking good more than usual..different problems going on..he actually approached me casually last week and asked are u ok? and i said yea and he was like are you sure, you promise? and i didn't really say anything to that..he then approached me later and like sat on the opposite end of me and said i am more quiet than usual and he knows something is wrong and he offered to take me out for a drink to talk..and i said maybe..and he said he would ask again before leaving..it turns out a coworkers offered him baseball tickets though which of course he should go to and he did..no hard feelings there since i didn't even completely agree anyway.We went out the other night with coworkers..for some reason i had it in my head where i wanted to get to be alone with him..i think some part of me always had a little crush on him but most times at work i know that i look bad b/c i don't spend alot of time getting ready in the morning. That night i put effort into it.Towards the end of the evening he approached me and said something and then said do i want to do a shot and i said sure..so we wind up at the bar by ourselves..it looked like most of the coworkers left..it seems like he was attracted to me..he placed his hand on my back once, leaned in closer when i couldnt hear what he was saying where he was pretty close to my mouth...We got to talking and we eventually went back to hang out a his place.When we left i didn't think it was going to happen but he got a cab and opened the door for me and we both got in and headed to his place. I just felt comfortable with him i guess..we did wind up making out at his place..the kisses seemed more sensual and soft..but before anything happened we were laying down together and he said my name and like what am i doing here in a casual/nice way..and i said do you want me to go and he said no if i didn't want you here i wouldn't have invited you. And i said i just wanted to spend time with you. I don't know who kissed who first but i really enjoyed it..I also was not very drunk or anything..i might have been buzzed but i knew ultimately what i was still doing. Things got somewhat physical but nothing where i need to have a test done or anything..my clothes stayed on;his didn't for the most part.. i remained strong with my will power not to sleep with him even though i wanted to.I feel like i was too emotional though and maybe that took a lot of points away from me?....maybe i should have had more fun with the situation and joked more...i felt like i blew it with me saying i just wanted to spend time with u, when we kissed i put my emotions in it..i touched his face while we kissed, kissed his neck. Is that too much or just a kissing style?.... When we were laying on the bed and i sat up to look at him he was being sweet..he kept playing with my hair and pushing it out of my face and tucked it behind my ear..he did say that he was concerned about me the past few days and i said well ur the only one..noone else notices and he said maybe they aren't looking...i also said to him well i guess you are attracted to me. I also moined that tiny slightly bit like that feels good when we kissed..he joked later saying good for me with my willpower lol..i was also pretty guarded not letting him do certain things like take my top off etc..and was nervous as well i guess which he pointed out but not in a mean way. He just said you are nervousWe spoke about how the next day was going to be and he said it is going to be weird and he almost feels bad but he gets the sense i wanted to come here tonight too and it wasn't just him and i agreed..and he said but i will come in, in the morning and say what i always say to you and you will say the same. When laying down he did kissed my forehead once, he did tell me i am very pretty.I think i hinted at wanting to hang out again or talk etc but i don't think he was completely open like ok here is my number lets hang out again soon which kind of disappointed me and maybe it made me look like an idiot as well.I did ask if he wanted to sleep with me tonight and he said he would have done whatever i wanted to do. He did try to push things along when we were making out but not in this aggressive type way. I told him i did want to sleep with him as well.The next day we came in like normal..he said the things he usually said to me..later on he asked if we were cool and i said yea..when i left i said goodnight to him and the person he shares the room with but as walking by we locked eyes for that second.Was i too emotional with the things i said and did? i kind of wish i can hang out with him again but it doesn't look like that is going to happen..i just wanted to spend more time with him regardless of where it led...Now i think i have a bigger crush on him and keep thinking about kissing him again..that night would have been perfect for us to exchange numbers but it didn't happen and i guess this was just a one time thing.Now i am also worried whatever closeness we had will be gone and he won't give me any attention anymoreHe even said i am too good; he feels bad and even complimented my willpower lol..maybe that actually can be seen as a negative thing..too "good"?The day after that he was in his neighbors office which is by my desk in the morning and he said my name and i said hey..it was a busy day for him it looked like..and i waved and smiled like normal when i left at the end of the day...What should i do to grab his attention? continue to look better at work? try to be more outgoing? he is friends with 2 of the coworkers in our area..maybe i can try to talk to them more and get invited to more outings maybe?
View related questions:
at work, co-worker, crush, drunk, kissing, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Why is it so important you get this particular man's attention, when there are plenty others that will treat you nicely? I doubt he's worth all this trouble.
As the answers to the original question you posted had said, if he wanted things to go further, he would have made it clear. He said he felt bad because he knew he was trying to take advantage of you, and did from what it sounds like. The fact that he didn't ask for your number or give you his after all this is a red flag, don't you think?
You're reading too much into the situation. Save yourself the trouble and find someone else. Please.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): I think that you need to remember that being yourself is a GOOD THING. If you're emotional, then that's great! It's part of who you are! Just be yourself and if he's interested he'll come back to you. But remember that it might just have been a one time thing. You know what's sexy? Confidence. Be confident in yourself and he'll notice. Don't worry about him. Just say hello and goodbye to him like normal. I like your idea of trying to get invited out more, but don't just do it for him. Don't doubt yourself! Be more outgoing, be friends with EVERYONE in your area. You'll get invited out more and maybe you'll grab his attention or maybe another guy who is even better! Just remember that you are a wonderful person and if you realize that for yourself, it will show and others will be drawn to you. Confidence really is where it's at. When you get ready in the morning, look in the mirror and pick out all of the things that you love about yourself. Tell yourself in the mirror. (I know it sounds cheezy, but it really works!) You will glow. Another way is to buy a seed and pretend that it's you. Plant it and take good care of it. Remember, that little seed has all the beauty in you. As it blooms into a flower, think of how beautiful it is. That's how beautiful you are too. When you realize that you are beautiful and wonderful, everyone will see it. Him included.
...............................
|
