A
female
age
,
*oghlaim
writes:I've been on my own for about 18 months now. After encouragement from friends I joined a dating site. It has been a lovely experience. So many men have contacted me that it has made me feel much more confident. I have been on a couple of 'first dates' and with one guy things have been going better. I met him three times over two weeks. He mailed me every day and sent 'winks' on the site. All seemed to be going very well. Then the contact slowed down. When I asked him if everything was ok he said it was and that life had just been very hectic. That happens so I accepted that and we continued to talk but we have not met since. He tells me that work is very difficult and it really does seem as if that is true. I was supposed to meet him yesterday evening and at the very last moment he asked me not to come. His kids had arrived and it's too soon for me to meet them.I do believe that he is being truthful with me - we have had long conversations that would be hard to fake. I am not sure how to deal with this situation. I would like to be seeing more of him but I understand his life is not smooth. Should I just be patient and if so for how long? In the past I have allowed people to walk over me so while this guy seems genuine I am afraid that I might not be judging the situation well.Any advice or opinions would be great. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Foghlaim +, writes (17 November 2009):
Foghlaim is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much for the advice. You all seemed to say more or less the same thing and it fitted with what I felt in my heart too.
I cooled right off with him. I answered if he contacted me but in a more casual way. I have talked to a few other guys and made a date with one. Funny enough now the first guy is chasing me and very keen to arrange another meeting. So who knows...
I really appreciate you all taking the time to help me. It did make a difference in giving me the confidence to do what is best for me. Thanks
A
male
reader, Teacher  +, writes (15 November 2009):
I would suggest you do not contact him at all and let him start chasing you if he wants to. Meanwhile get on with life and other people.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): Few not very promising signs. 1. He tells you he is very busy, that's a ussual line when he doesn't need to see you2. Canselled date.He is probably dating other women. Be carefull, don't let yourself be preoccupied w/one man. Keep on dating others.
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