A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, well basically i’ve got a question regarding myself. It’s a bit embarrassing, but is it normal for a nineteen year old to be a virgin. I’ve never done anything with a girl, never been kissed, never even held hands with anybody. In fact now that I think about it i’ve never even hugged a girl before. It probably sounds funny and sad, but i’m quite ashamed of it really. All my mate have had sex, and their so happy and confident in themselves! And they always get looks from people too. Not once in my life have I ever heard anyone say ‘oh, so and so likes you`. I do try and make myself look nice, I shower and wash every day, wear deodorant etc. And it’s not like I haven’t tried with girls. But it’s not about losing my virginity or anything, I think it’s because i’m tired of being lonely and always being overlooked. Anyway, with that sad rant of the way lol, what am I supposed to do to increase my chances of getting a girlfriend? I know what all the answers are probably going to be, but i’m just interested to hear what others experiences and opinions are on this :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (28 February 2012):
 Your first and easier objective could be to get some real friends who are girls. So, not a romantic thing - but friends. And girls like being hugged by their male friends. I don't know what your situation is, if you are at university, etc., but I think you should be actively trying to put yourself in situations where you could have just friendly contact with girls. I think everything else will follow.
And yes, an obvious thing will be ditching glasses and getting down the gym, if you want to ensure more than just hugging contact. Sorry to say it, but it does generally work.
Don't be glum, though. You sound like a really nice guy, as much as one can tell from a few paragraphs, and you are so young - it will happen, for sure.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (28 February 2012):
 HI
Well it sounds like your doing the right things, How would you rate yourself in the looks department? This may sound like a shallow question to ask, and I apologise if I offend by asking, but many people go by the looks before they give the person a chance to even get to know them properly.
Mandy xx
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A
male
reader, landomando  +, writes (28 February 2012):
I was on the same boat a couple years ago. For me personally I changed my wardrobe, got rid of my glasses, and hit the gym. I was alot more confidant and when people saw me after summer i was like a new person. Kinda like starting from scratch. I always smiled when I talked to girls. Was really nice, laughed at there jokes or at least pretended to lol. I didnt act like someone I wasnt tho. I was just alot more confident with my self. Also I kinda thought to my self in 20 years from now, is it really going to matter. Meaning if i ask a girl out or talk to her and say something stupid, who cares, I tried! OOO i also started to (and still do) observe how people talk to girls. Mainly my friends who can pick up any girl. They teach me some stuff even tho I doubt they know they are. Also dont be embarrassed. My 19 year old roommate in college, I went to highschool with him, he was popular, everyone liked him but he cant talk to a girl to save his live. Hes still a virgin, hasnt kissed a girl or done anything when he has had so many chances this past year. My point is your not alone. its really hard to talk to girls.haha also im helping him too! and hes getting better! just needs to learn to close :)Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Mark_25_ +, writes (28 February 2012):
 Hey, hopefully this will make you feel a bit better.I turned 20 in the summer last year, at that time, I had only ever hugged and held hands with one girl. She was my one girlfriend and that's it, and that was 3 and a half years ago. I can completely sympathise and understand where you're coming from, because like you, it wasn't about loosing my virginity, I felt lonely, and I just desperately wanted someone to love and care for, to have a relationship and just be with someone.Just over a year ago, I met someone online, not on a dating website or anything, just youtube. We met late on in the summer, became really close, and started a relationship. We are completely in love, she's the most amazing person I've ever met, we've done everything you can do together, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.So my point is, you can meet people in places you least expect it, I really never thought that I would meet someone on youtube, and then be lucky enough for them to only live a 45 minute drive away. To answer your question, I think it is totally normal to be in your situation, I really wasn't any further along than you are now when I turned 20.Also, quite possibly this might affect your confidence, I've never been a confident person and when I was in that situation it really didn't help. But now it's changed quite a lot, I'm by no means loud or out there, but since meeting my girlfriend it has increased a lot.You come across like a nice down to earth person, and it seems like you might have been a bit unlucky to not get noticed. Unfortunately going through school, 6th form etc, it's only loud confident people that tend to get noticed.As for suggestions on increasing your chances, as you've said, you've probably guessed them lol. I don't know if you're in college or work etc, but both places could have options. Most suggestions, like the "going to a bar" suggestion that seems quite popular, are probably things you wouldn't really consider because it would involve essentially going over and talking to someone.I think my only suggestion would be to look everywhere, you can meet people in the strangest and most unlikely places and situations.I hope that helps, you'll find someone :)
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