A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Am i being selfish and self centred or am i allowed to be sad over this? is it me or is it them?I just recently had my 20th birthday last wednesday, i live away from home to study and on my birthday neither of my called to say happy birthday. I didnt get any presents but that wouldnt bother me if they had of called just to talk to me and say happy birthday. My younger sister told me they didnt call because they forgot, and on the day of my birthday my dad said "wasnt it her birthday last week?" this happened the previous year aswell. I have never had a birthday party, I have never been able to do anything special on my birthday, when i was a kid i got a present and a card and that was it, didnt go out for a special dinner didnt get a cake. However my sisters got parties, presents and cake.Every year i make a fuss over my mum, dad and sisters birthdays, i bought my mum an expensive handbag, an expensive purse, my sister an ipod, my dad an expensive watch, i got them cards, i visit on their birthdays to say happy birthday, i try to make them feel really special because i love them. It has been almost a week and i still havent spoken to my parents. Am i at that age now where its just another year closer to death and birthdays arnt celebrated anymore?i always thought 'maybe next year i will get a suprise or something specail'Im used to not being made a fuss of on my birthday but it hurts my feelings not even being acknowleged for being born on the one day of the year that, the day is for.this makes me Sad. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): A birthday is for people to celebrate your birth, "thanking you" for being born. People have the misconception that you throw a party and invite others. It's the other way around.
You have a right to feel the way you do whether you make a fuss about it or not.
A
female
reader, noncdog +, writes (6 April 2010):
thank you for your support everyone and the birthday wishes.Just one thing, i am not finacially well off, i struggle and pay my own way for studying by myself with my part time job, no help from my parents what so ever, and when it comes up to their birthdays i save my money up so i can get them things they were never able to have.My family don't have alot of money, this is why all i wanted was a "happy brthday"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Maybe because you say you are used to not having a fuss about your birthday, they dont think you care all that much about it? I'd feel sad too if my closest family forgot abuot my birthday, in fact my mom didnt call me or send me a birthday gift last year on my birthday and it upset me quite a lot. I didnt speak to her about it though, and sure enough a package came in the mail with a gift and a card. It probably got delayed in the mail. So maybe your family sent you something and it is taking its time to get there? My boyfriend also sent me something in the mail that for some reason ended up taking 3 weeks to get to me! It upset me because I had taken extra care to make sure HIS gifts got to him on time, and mine was several weeks delayed, but in the end it got there.
So, maybe have more patience with your family, and when they call make sure they know just how happy you are to hear from them. Dont get mad at them as it will only make you seem like a big baby. Perhaps to them you are just so independent of a person that they think you would get bothered if they made a fuss. I mean after all you can buy them expensive gifts (btw its not about money you should remember), so you must be getting well along financially. And to be well off financially and study abroad or far away from home at a young age reeks of high independence.
Just let your mom know you are still a girl inside who loves attention on her birthday, and for that one day you'd like a fuss, and for the rest of the year you are happy to manage on your own.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU ! Cheer Up!
I am sorry your parents and sisters did not reciprocate their feelings on your big day.
What a bummer!
Maybe, you should not send anything to them for next year.
God Bless you !
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