A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Before my current BF, I've never had a proper BF. I've been on dates but never a long term relationship.I usually chased all the guys and I always ended up getting hurt. But the chase was so exciting and I love the feeling of something new and mysterious.My current BF (we've been together for 7 months) was the one who chased me. I never chased him and so I never had that feeling of chasing something and then getting it. He came after me and it was so easy to get him to committ to me. There was no challenge for me.I've met his family and friends, we've been on a small holiday recently and life is just humming along. He treats me like a queen, he does the cooking when I come over, he listens to my rants, we never fight but talk things out and he genuinely wants the best for me. I don't think there are many men like him out there.But I think I'm bored. I'm like this with everything in my life. I get bored of my job and think up ways of leaving it to pursue something more fun and exciting. I know that life is not all fun and excitement but I can't help it.I know that the problem is me, and not my BF or our relationship. I know that if I left him to go and chase someone new and 'exciting' I would regret it. Even if I was to get with someone else, I think I'd get bored and the cycle would repeat itself.How do I overcome this? How do I be content and happy with what I have, and not always seek out the excitement of something new? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): Remind yourself that what you are doing right now IS in fact something new. This is your first serious relationship. Serious relationships have the habit of growing more serious, and so exploring the new things and complications that brings. It is something new to go on vacation together is it not? At least I never went on vacation or planned something without being serious in the relationship first. You could possibly end up moving in together, which would definitely be something new to you. You could learn how to relate to having another person in your life, not just as a guest star. That is new.
All in all, dont underestimate the relationship. A relationship only gets boring when you stop having fun. Was that nonsense? Well its like that old saying, you only have as much fun as you can make yourself. So if you find it boring, maybe you should put on another pair of glasses and take a second look. I personally find the phase where you are getting comfortable with another person the best phase of all. No more chasing, no more insecurities. He's seen you without makeup on, and you've heard his farts. And thats when you can really let go and be yourself, and laugh so hard water bursts out of your nose without having to worry that he will think you look stupid.
Enjoy it. And like you said yourself, the grass is not greener on the other side. I think you are just finding it a little hard to adjust to the new situation. But you will get there, no worries.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 April 2010):
 Count your blessings and treasure what you have. Think of those less fortunate ones, who have nothing and consider yourself very blessed.
You may find new hobbies or activities to do and you can switch those activities once you get bored.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2010): I was like this so I know what you mean. You just need to get some excitment into your relationship. Go out more, new places, have sex outdoors!! (wrong but so exciting) Bring some kinkyness into it. Anything, you just need to get over the whole 'im bored, what's next' attitude.
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