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female
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anonymous
writes: im a 16 year old girl and i have never been with a guy.i have two problems i am very shy and lack confidence.it gets me down that i have never experienced a relationship because all my friends do be talking about there boyfriends and it makes me think is the something wrong with me that i cant get a guy.im not a stunning looking girl but i have a good sense of humour and an interest in sport.have you got any advice on what i should do to get a guy.
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male
reader, cam  +, writes (15 December 2005):
 look i'm a 16 year old bloke and to be honest i cant get my head around the shyest girl i know i'm a shy person at heart but just do whatever u feel like it'l work out it doesnt matter if u'r shy if u are a nice person and u want to talk to blokes go for it beleve me i rekon were more scared most of the time if u'r not a bit scared when talking to someone u like u'r not normal
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (10 December 2005):
hey there :)I know how it can make you feel very down at times when you it seems like you are the only person in the world who hasn't had a bf at the age of 16. But remember, you don't know everyone in the world, your comparing yourself to your friendship group and they are only a small minority. I got my first bf when I was 16, so you never know maybe this year or next year is the year for you! You said you are lacking confidence, im wondering if this is because in your pass (or even still now) have people put you down and made you feel bad about yourself? have you been bullied to an exstent that it makes you not love yourself and not see all the good things in you? there must be a reason why when you were little you didnt devlop the self love that you should have. when growing up did not many people tell you all the great things about you? so you never learnt to see them and embrace them?It must be hard to feel like you do, to not really like yourself which causes the lack of confidence. It seems to me you are mostly down about your looks, as you could see that you have a good sense of humour and you have a interest in sport which many of people do too! I think before you even think about 'geting a guy', you should work on yourself. Work on making yourself feel good, because the last thing you need is having a bf and feel on top of the world and loved, then if say that doesnt go well and it ends then you feel ike that same inconfident and unlovable person again. You don't want to use a boy to make you feel loved. So first, like I said ebrace your positive qualities. We all have bad things about ourselves that we don't like, its just some of us (the ones who appear more confident and happy) don't focus on them and keep telling thereself about it. The key is positive thinking. Keep telling yourself that your a funny girl, that you have a passion for sport, that your interesting ,that your kind and understanding to peoples feelings, all the things you know that people would love about yourself. And if you cant bring yourself to think of many, ask someone who you trust like perhaps your mum, dad, older brother or sister, or a friend. Im sure they will have heaps to say! Don't be so hard on yourself ok? After you work on seeing all your good qualities then you might feel more comfortable talking to guys and there for going out with them. Remember they are human to, just like us girls! lol. They get nervous and have insecurities just like you do.If you are quite down about your looks maybe you could try and get ot know a guy who wouldnt be say, model material, one who you woudlnt be like 'oh my god he is sooo hot' and try and see all the other good points you can llike in someone. That might boost your confidence that if yo ucan see other good things in people like there personality that they can do it for you too. Good luck! I hope it all goes well for you.Put in the effort of changing your views about yourself and 100% focusing on the good things and the things that you can change (so for example dont focus on a body part you dont like, like a big bum or something that you dont like, that you CANT change because it will get you know where). All good things in life come with effort and risk. You have to work hard to get where you want to be. Oh and just for the record, I personally dont think all guys go for good looking girls! I am confident that im a really really pretty girl, yet i dont have a line of guys waiting for me...you wanna know why? because i might not have the best personality. im not funny and so many people go for a sense of humour. im quite shy, and so that makes me seem stand offish to peple at first. so from my expeirence looks dont get you eveyrwhere and they dont equal happiness. take care xoxo if you have any oother questions feel free to ask
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