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female
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anonymous
writes: I have met a really sweet, wonderful guy and would love to be his girlfriend. He has indicated that he would like to be in a relationship, but on another occasion he has also said that a ‘friend’ of his betrayed him really badly and I wonder if, as a consequence of this betrayal, this is making him really quite wary of people and their motives as he seems keen to get to know me more one moment and then puts up barriers the next. I have been through much the same thing so I can understand why he feels like this - the feeling that you don’t want to let people get too close in case it happens again. How do I show him I am not like the others - I don’t know if I should be more patient and wait for him to approach me when he’s ready (me approaching him would be a non-starter - I think that he would perceive that I am being pushy given his previous experiences and the last thing I want him to do is back away), however I don’t want to play it too cool otherwise he may think I’ve lost interest. I definitely know do I approach this problem? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Qui-Gon-Jim +, writes (17 December 2005):
 It's a tricky one... I think the best thing to do is share your experiences, too. Let him know you've been through the same, and you want to share it with him... because he's special. This should let him know how you feel, without being too lax or pushy. After all, he needs his breathing room.
But never forget - all wounds can heal, if you have the right person on hand.
Qui-Gon xxx
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