A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Anybody who can help me:I am a female. I am 21. And I have never gone on a date... Or had my first kiss. How lame am I? I must seriously suck at life. And it sucks more when youre family is constantly asking.. "Why dont you have a boyfriend?" I feel like a failure. Sometimes I feel like just saying yes to the first guy I come across.. just to say "I have a boy friend so stop asking". I must come across as an idiot.. but.. I guess Ill just become a nun.Sincerely,College Single Reply to this Question
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female
reader, auntyR  +, writes (22 April 2011):
I have a friend who is 24 and she has never had a date or a first kiss. I sometimes wonder how she has never managed to have a date or find someone. But i think it is all down to confidence. When she meets new people she becomes very defensive and locks away her emotions. I think you all need to just have self confidence and then you will find that special someone to have a date with. It will happen, believe me, but just don't go out looking for it. Let the person find you.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 Not infertile at 21 with an STD.Not a single mother of multiple kids with different fathers.Not a booty call or sex with no benefits or whatever else women use to delude themselves they are not an unpaid hooker.How lame is that?Oh, that is actually a good thing not to be isn't it? This site is filled with people having sex for all the wrong reasons. You are not.So okay, not dating. That sucks... so why aren't you doing it? Not everyone has the same sex drive. Not every has the same ambitions. If you want to date and are not, then why not? If you want to date but can't find a guy, why not? If you don't want to date, then what do you want to do about?Just jumping in the sack with the first guy to come along. Well, that is a good way to become a single mother etc etc.What is your goal in life? Because by your post, it would seem your entire existence is to be complained about by your family. What is it YOU want to do?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 April 2011):
 You are not lame! And you're not old! All it means is that you're not out there running through guys just for kicks. People asking why you don't have a boyfriend? It's none of their business! You are in the adventure of sexual discovery and exploration. That doesn't mean that you're having sex with anything that moves just to see what you like. It just means that you haven't found someone you want to kiss yet!I have a friend who went to age 28 before kissing a guy. They're now married and have two kids. She told me that she's made up for lost time and then some, and she's so glad she waited until she met someone worth kissing.I knew another friend when I was younger who never had kissed a guy either. Turns out, she's still never kissed a guy!(well, as of 16 years ago!) She discovered that she was deeply attracted to other women. Guys never did anything for her.There's a very small number of people who are asexual, meaning they aren't sexually attracted to anything. This is still normal as long as they didn't experience some trauma or abuse that caused them to sexually shut down.But don't worry about whether or not you're asexual. I'm guessing you've felt attraction in your life. Don't become a nun, and don't go saying yes to the first guy who appears. You'll find someone who rocks your world. Just overcome your fear and approach him (or her...hey, who knows, eh?).
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