A
female
age
36-40,
*n88
writes:Hi ppl this is my first time but i have a concern thats weighed heavy on my mind for ages now. I'm 21 and thus far, never had a long term relationship or anything remotely close! the past few guys i met all did exactly the same thing, showed loads of interest then ditched me for an ex or a new girl.....because its happened so many times iv started to become paranoid that thers sumthing wrong with me!Its really getting me down now and iv lost any hope of meeting a decent guy that i cant trust. i dont know wot to do! my self esteem is at rock bottom and iv got myself stuck in a viscious cycle because i want to meet new ppl but i dont kno how id even go about it anymore!!I used to consider myself as vaguely attractive even tho im a little heavy and my friends all say im funny and kind. Should i be questioning my self or am i just having an unlucky streak???????????
View related questions:
self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): I'm sorry to hear that In88. I wish I could be of more help. There is the old adage you have to kiss a few frogs until you find your prince. Don't give up. You're an intelligent young woman with your whole life ahead of you.
A
female
reader, ln88 +, writes (10 November 2009):
ln88 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks both u guys, Roboaxe i can only hope your positive outlook rubs off and i can put it down to timing lol and human_male, unfortunately for me, i think you havent quite hit the mark, you see it seems to be when i show interest back that the problems begin. the last guy i liked hid that fact he had a crush on me for 6 months and finally told me. i was flattered and started talking to him for a while then i agreed to see him for drinks. a few weeks later i told him i was really glad he'd told me and i was willing to take things further. i went on holiday and wen i came bak he'd gone off wiv me and dint reply to any of my texts. i found out through facebook that he'd met someone else, and still to this day hasn't had th guts to tell me and has continued to avoid all the places we used to see eachother! thats one example of my unlucky streak......i don't know what it is im doing wrong. i like to flirt and i know how to boost a guys ego but it seems to be wen i get my hopes up and start thinkin it could go sumwer that it all goes horribly wrong!! maybe im just the kind of girl guys dont want to be in a relationship with! :(
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): It's hard to say without knowing much more about you. Just saying "it's not you" and "something will come up" may be true, and I've said that to other people. But...
I was just thinking today how often women seem to show such little interest. There are times I've tried to strike up a conversation and the girl seems happy enough to answer my questions but does not show the tiniest bit of interest in me. Nothing. Or they just act like they can't be bothered at all. Obviously, they simply may not be interested in me. Or maybe they were and didn't know how, or didn't believe they needed to show it. Either way I got bored pretty quick and didn't bother again.
I'm not saying you're doing that, but maybe examining how you respond and relate to guys might help. You said all the guys you knew showed a lot of interest in you initially but it soon dropped off. Do you know why that might be? Did you show any interest back? Did you smile when you talked to them and made eye contact and asked about themselves, and showed interest in the things they talked about? Did you phone them as much as they phoned you? Did you ask them out occasionally instead of waiting for them to ask?
My point is, and this applies to all women, if a guy shows some attention to you for gods sake show a little attention back. You don't have to be all over him, just give him a little encouragement. Even if he doesn't seem to be flirting with you and is just chatting casually or even asking you about school work or something. It may just be an excuse to talk to you. So smile now and again, ask him about himself and make eye contact when you talk. Nothing signals your disinterest more than gazing out across the room when the poor guy is trying to talk to you.
I may have completely missed the mark there, but I hope it's of some help to you.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Roboaxe  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Unlucky streak.
The worst thing you can do to yourself is doubt yourself. Don't be your own enemy.
So what if it still hasn't worked out for you? I am 22 and didn't have a real relationship until I was 19. These things take different amounts of time for different people.
Don't just give up, keep going about doing what you are doing and I am sure it will turn out fine.
...............................
|
