A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are talking about getting engaged. We're both thrilled, we know we've found our other half, but I'm nervous as to how and when to tell my parents (before or after I get the ring). I'm nervous because my boyfriend and I have been dating only a few months, although we've been living together that whole time. Any advice?
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female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 Sorry, I did understand you wrong. For me it did really sound, like you are nervous about getting married and that this would be the reason you are nevous about telling your parents.
So this is different. But if you are sure about him, what is the reason you are nervous about telling your parents? Do you think they will not support you? Why should they not?
But anyway, as you said, it would be nice if they would know from you or your boyfriend (I like the suggestion of minibash, to let your boyfriend ask you parents for their permission!). As you said yourselfe. A friend of mine didn't tell her parents and they found out from others - this was quite a shock for them and they thought they are not importent for her daughter... But you can imagine this yourselfe and you know you don't want this.
I think an other good suggestion is that of deejuliet. You should think about this.
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (23 April 2007):
 If it is true love and you are meant to be together forever, than waiting a few months will not affect your relationship and will probably make it a bit easier on the folks to accept. Get the ring first, before you tell your parents. This will show them that the two of you are serious and not just playing house. Set a date as well before you announce the engagement. The ring may take a few months to pay off and it should be paid in full before you announce the engagement. This gives you the requisite time to make the parents more confortable and to get to know each other a bit better and be more confident in your decision. Getting married is a big decision and if you approach it with maturity and consideration, then I am sure your parents will be supportive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I should have given more details because Enzian seems to be confused (although I appreciate her trying)...I'm not nervous about being engaged or getting married. My boyfriend is my best friend, and the one person who gets me and accepts me completely.
We've already started to tell some friends and we've set a date. My boyfriend's parents even know. I just don't know how or when to tell my parents, and I'm afraid to continue to tell more people because I know my parents should hear it from me, not through the grapevine.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess I should have given more details because Enzian seems to be confused (although I appreciate her trying)...I'm not nervous about being engaged or getting married. My boyfriend is my best friend, and the one person who gets me and accepts me completely.
We've already started to tell some friends and we've set a date. My boyfriend's parents even know. I just don't know how or when to tell my parents, and I'm afraid to continue to tell more people because I know my parents should hear it from me, not through the grapevine.
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A
female
reader, Enzian +, writes (23 April 2007):
I think, it is normal to be nervous. I'm sure I will be when it is time for me, also I together with my boyfriend for two and a half year and I will have to wait for at least an other year... That will give an other load of butterflies in my stomach. But you write you are nervous because you have been dating only a few months. That's a little different. It sounds for me as you are not ready yet. It went all a little to quick for you. So in your stead I would give me some space and think about it. Wy not wait an other few months? You are very young, you have got a lot of time and you don't need to rush. Don't run into something or you may will regret in a few year.
There is an other good thing about waiting a little longer: In the time you wait you can get prepared for your wedlock. You will get to know each other much better and you will find out more about you as a couple. You will find out the othersones quirks. Can you life with them? To marry someone brings a lot of responsibility with it. Are you ready for that?
Take it slowly. If you have doubts, don't rush, just wait and see. I'm sure you will found out!
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A
female
reader, muirn beatha dan  +, writes (23 April 2007):
HELLO HUNNIE,
I think that if u love one another then you should announc your ingagement nerves is 1 thing that should not hold us back and take over your life as u said u found your other half it sounds like true love but mabey if your mum or dad is upset then respect there wishes they r probaly much older then me and wiser but i say go 4 it hope this helps
xxx
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A
female
reader, RaeRae86 +, writes (23 April 2007):
 I think if they love you, which im sure they do, that they will respect your decisions. as long as you are sure that it's what YOU want. God Bless
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): go for it as long as you are 100% sure its what you want and you are happy! People will soon come around to the idea no matter what happens and you family should support you!
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A
female
reader, minibash +, writes (23 April 2007):
Congratulations!! I think the best way to go about it is for your boyfriend to ask your parents for their permission - it may seem old fashioned but will gain their respect. If you are living together then i should imagine that your parents are half expecting this anyway. just talk to them and you'll probably be surprised!!
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