A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Like my family, I am educated, good-looking and working women with a good profile in an IT company (where sometimes i hv to work till late). My sis was also working in a 5 star hotel on a good profile. In addition to that we were all rounders of our respective schools and colleges with a good training in dance and music.But my neighbours or the area in which I live is low class. Though my family and I am very polite with them but few girls/families in my neighbourhood are demeaning our reputation by saying that we were working in a bar as a dancer and used to drink a lot there (while no one in my family drinks). These girls and their families are less educated and non working (or working in small shops) but do a lots of make-up and having bad company and are not from good families. Though they behave very gently in front of us. I do not know how to control this situation and let others believe us. Is it worthy to clarify what we do or should I let them go with their doings because in front of us no one in the neighbourhood is rude with us and our parents. In fact, we stand out in the crowd with our behaviour and good dressing sense. (We cannot change our home as of now.)Please help me with your kind suggestions.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): Thanks to all for solving my problem. I am surely going to do the same as you have suggested. Thanks dear.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (2 May 2012):
 From my experience with neighbours it is best not to even bother putting any time into dealing with those type of people. I have horrible neighbours so I choose not to deal with them at all. There are people on my street who I will stop to chat with and always say hi to but there is no reason you have to deal with these other people.
Just live your lives how ever it is that you want to, who cares what these people say. They aren't even worth your time in responding to them. What you have described sounds like high school where you live with all the drama and talking behind peoples back. The best thing for this is for you to add no fuel to the fire.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2012): I do not know how to control this situation and let others believe us.
You can't control what people say or think about you, but if this really matter so much to you ( I for one don't even know my neighbor's name and couldn't care less abut what he thinks of me) but maybe you're worried because of your reputation ( if that's something that matters to you) so I'll give you my opinion
I don't know about you but working in an office you have a dress code, which is completely different from the way you dress for a club, party, bar, whatever so this people have probably noticed that you and your sister are dressed to go to work if not then when they start talking behind your back ask the people whom they were gossiping with, how could they know that you were working in a bar as a dancer? that can only mean that they're the ones attending bars and drinking themselves, you on the other hand if going to work because you do have a job. If I were you I would not give the time of the day to those people...
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A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 May 2012):
 Neither explain nor complain directly.
They are making trouble and are mischief makers. Gossipers are ignorant.
What they say about you and make up about you is their problem entirely.
You do not have to justify yourselves to them.
You certainly do not need to engage them in conversation (if they call you stuck up then let them chatter amongst themselves)
Be polite but brisk as you pass them. Do not stop walking past them briskly even if you are not in a hurry.
A quick good morning or good evening as you keep on walking past them. If they call out, make out you never heard them. The less said the better. A smile and a wave. If they give you lip, still keep walking.
Vary the times to leave home and arrive home. They will get sick of waiting around for you.
Do not tell them one iota of your business. Nor what you are doing nor where you are going.
You do not need to justify your life nor your lifestyle.
If, in your spare time, you are able to volunteer to assist a charity then do so. Don't socialize with these neat neighbours even if they invite you.
A quick brisk, 'Sorry, I need to be somewhere else', Bye'
People who gossip have bitter boring lives. You are under no obligation to provide 'enrichment' for their sad llittle lives.
Too busy to speak to them. Too busy to respond to them. Too busy to explain and too busy to complain.
Just starve them emotionally of any contact with ANY member of your family.
Because by gossiping behind your back they have already PROVED that they are not your friends. They are not neighbours who you can trust.
In a word they have forfeited any time you might have made available to be neighbourly with them.
whatever you Do say they are likely to twist your words.
Eventually they will find another person to harass.
Sadly if life becomes impossible you may need to move. It is not a criminal offence to not like a person.
But it sure is unpleasant to live near trouble making gossips.
But if you waste time interacting with them they will either dry to drag you down to their level. Or they will try to ruin your reputations as they are so insanely jealous of what you have and what they do not have (Integrity for one thing)
Smile at them and keep walking. That's all. Don't look upset, don't look defeated. Just Smile, Smile, Smile.
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