A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'd appreciate your advice on how to stop myself becoming the kind of gf I don't want to be, and hope this doesn't sound stupid. I've been with my bf for a few months, both exclusive. He's a great guy-kind, caring, handsome, sexy and clever. We see each other 3-4 times a week, and have lots of fun hanging out. He's introduced me to his parents and friends, has asked if we can go on holiday for a few days in the new year, and says he thinks he is falling in love with me. This all makes me really happy, and I love being with him, and feel like I'm falling in love with him, too. The problem is that I'm scared to let myself fall for him. My last bf cheated on me twice (we'd been together 8 years, lived together for 7). I don't think my new bf has ever cheated on anyone, and I know his ex-gf cheated on him and hurt him badly. He's done nothing to make me doubt him, but I still worry the same thing is going to happen again and am scared of getting hurt. So I'm worried that I'm either going to subconsciously pull back a little and become a little less loving towards him, or I'm going to become too clingy, wanting to see him everyday. I don't think I have done these things yet, but can feel within myself that it might happen. At first, I was just enjoying spending time with him, but now that my feelings for him are becoming stronger, I'm starting to worry about messing up or losing him. I'd love some advice on how to deal with this. Thanks :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): First, I'm sry you had to go through a guy cheating on you. I can't even believe how hard that would be. I kno it will b hard, but the best way to get rid of these insecure thoughts may be to talk to a councelor or even your BF. I'm sure he would be understanding since he went through the same thing and will assure you he would never do that. Many guys are idiots and jerks... However, it seems you found a good guy and you have to learn to trust him. It takes a lot of time to trust again, but I think a good place to start is by talking to him about it. Just don't make it sound like u are accusing him
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