A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I been married 30 years. Whats something we can do in bed that will turn on my wife. she's not into anything kinky. Its as if she's lost interest? I need a women view.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2013): I have to disagree with FA and say that romance, affection and a little help around the house will work wonders. Women need to be made to feel special and appreciated before they can become turned on. It's not like men where a sexy image will cut it - for women it's much more in the mind. It won't happen overnight but if you start romancing your wife again then you'll find she'll start to come round to the idea of sex again. Trust me, the biggest passion killer is feeling like a live in cook and maid who is being taken for granted. Some new moves in bed are not going to cut it I'm afraid, it's going to require a bit more effort than that. Or you could do as FA suggests and start focusing on yourself only, but in my opinion that would drive a further wedge between me and my husband and I'd feel even more neglected and less sexy than ever.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (4 December 2013):
 A woman's view will probably be less helpful than you think. You will likely get a lot of advice to help around the house more and to be more romantic. While indeed this is what they want they will not respond sexually to romance at this stage. There is likely a whole mess of biology involved. On top of that is dissatisfaction. Then the killer that you actually can do something about. Boredom. You can not become interesting to her by doing the same old things that you have done all along. BTW housework is the most boring thing in their catalog of activities. Put more time and energy into your own hobbies and interests.
FA
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (4 December 2013):
 Go back to basics and go the romantic route. After 30 years you should know what puts a smile on her face but it should include a lot of love and affection.
Older women can and do lose their libedo and if ignored, it can be hard to inspire them back into a sex life.
Try to create a little magic, buy her something special, tasteful, and tell her how beautiful she is and how happy you are to be with her. Touch her gently and kiss her neck, be sensual rather than trying to push her into sudden unexpected sex.
This probably sounds like a lot of hard work, but some things are worth the effort.
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