A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:need help really to understand depression. sometimes i feel i cant do anything or dont want to but i would say lately im fine and can get up early go out and about and happy to do daytrips and things i enjoy like swimming. i still feel in myself a bit sad at times and a bit like i dont feel 100 percent in myself but unsure why or what is wrong. i do get depressed and worrie alot i dont like my life due to being an only child and still living with parents and looking for work. feel i cant cope and want to be able to cope without them cause what happens when they no longer about. all i have is my parents and no brothers or sisters and not many people in my life. i live with them still and alot of my family have died and life seems lonely and different since nan grandad aunts and uncles have died. im gay so got no kids and just feel lost in the world. i did see a counsellor which does help and im going to do that again. i eat healthy i keep fit such as swimming bike ride walking. why do i still feel a bit strange in myself like im not really feeling great and never do. any advice please. very greatful and thank you. a big big thank you. im so scared what will happen once my parents are no longer here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012): thanks for your reply im greatful. im looking for work but cant rent a private place due to not having any garatours but im on the council list. thing is i want to adopt but i cant with a council place i already asked and you can only have one room unless you already have children. i think its wrong and once you got a job and can pay rent yourself without benefits then you should be able to have any amount of rooms its all unfair. cant do private it cost more and you need a garatour i cant get one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012): Hun, don't worry about your parents, they have each other, and they've always had each other. Just because they're not as young as they used to be, doesn't mean they're going anywhere soon.
The reason you feel this way about them is because your life revolves around them, you rely on them too much. If you build on YOUR independence, you will realize that if you had to manage on your own, you could do.
You just need to break out of this lifestyle and allow things to fall into place for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2012): thank you very much for the answer. your so right and yes i do need to keep busy and stay positive which i try best as poss. i find it hard to make friends as cant bring anyone home my parents dont let me and it cost money to keep going out so dont really have many people in my life. i worrie what will happen when my parents die as they are in their 60s now and im scared as they all i got.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2012): I believe what you're experiencing (aside from depression) is anxiety, and its commonly linked with depression.
Depression and anxiety are closely linked, and one causes the other, its a vicious cycle that once you fall into, is hard to get back out of. But the most important step in breaking the cycle, is to identify the core problem which is causing you to feel this way to begin with.
Depression is usually caused when certain aspects and needs of a persons life aren't being met, in this case - the facts that you haven't got a job, a place of your own, a partner or a life that are bringing you down. Its those four key things that need to be resolved in order for the missing pieces of your jigsaw to fall into place, and for you to be happy.
I would continue the activities you're doing (the bike riding and the swimming) as just doing things that get you out of the house will improve your mood because it takes your mind off things for a while. Also the counseling session as you said are helpful, so definitely get back into those too.
Little steps at a time and little achievements, will make the world of difference to your way of thinking and that will improve your mood. Try not to look at all your individual problems as one big overwhelming black cloud, because that's what is causing to lose faith in the future.
I believe you've already identified the core problem as being those four voids in your life that need to be filled, and you've already made the first step by looking for a job. Just try to stay positive, do the things you love doing, attend any professional sessions you need to, and be patient, it will all fall into place, just stay determined and don't give up.
Good Luck!
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