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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My husband and I were highschool sweethearts and have been married for 9 years. I had twins a year and half ago and have been finding it hard to lose the baby weight, I know that snce our babies were born I have let myself go but it has almost turned him off ocmpletely. He never says I am beautifulor I love you unless I ask. Sex only happens if I start it. How can I save my marriage before it falls apart completley
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2012): You should lose weight for YOU, not for someone else.I used to be 230lbs, and I never had children, so the weight gain was completely my doing. I decided I needed to change.I started working out 30 mins a day using Wii Fit Plus. I also completely changed my eating habits. Fresh, whole foods, lots of salads (no dressing) and nuts. Didn't eat junk food except on a very rare occasion, drank lots of water. In a year, I was down to 185. I'm still losing, albeit very slowly. Down to 170, right now.You don't need fancy diets, or extreme work out routines. 30 mins a day, strength and yoga worked for me. The eating habits were the hardest to overcome. Plus, I worked a very labour intensive job, which I'm sure motherhood can feel like most of the time.You can do it with very simple changes to your lifestyle. The key is to not be critical of yourself if you make some mistakes along the way. Just brush it off and try harder the next day.Good luck!
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (12 October 2012):
 Strangely enough, it's probably not your weight that has made your husband retreat (unless he has told you directly)
You have had twins!!!!...HELLO!!!....Major life change, very very very hard work and totally draining (although wonderful)Having to raise two divertingly energetic bundles of fun takes up all your time and I am sure, letting yourself go a bit is because you are last on the list.
You need a little help, a little make over and a little time alone with your man to get things back on an even keel.
Men can revert to childish behaviour if they feel unwanted, neglected or pushed out...that means any attention they give you begins to suffer too.
Sadly as wome, we are the ones who have to make the effort to fix things because, even though men want to, they seldom know the right way to go about it.
Your man probably needs a gentle prod and a bit of encouragement...but your worn out, stressed out and upset...Right???
If you can, make some plans for some alone time, even if it's at home.Enlist the help of a friend or family member to have the kids over night, even if it means splitting them up for just one night.
Fix your hair, buy a new outfit (or undies) and make a nice dinner (or get take out) and then sit down with your man and relax and talk. Let him know that even though life has changed, that you still love him and need him and that you'd like to try and get back some of what you have lost.
Give him a chance to speak about his feelings and don't stress if he doesn't tell you what you want to hear. Sometimes you just have to plant the seed and men will mull it over in their ow time.
If you are worried about your weight, if only for health reasons, it's an easy fix. Cut junk out of your diet, cut your portion sizes, snack on fruit and veg and drink more water. It will give you more energy and help your skin and nails.
Get your babies out in their stroller for long walks and any weight will melt off.
Your man is most likely sulking and even though it's fair to feel he should be making the effort to rekindle with you, it's worth making the effort yourself if you really want to repair any damage.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2012): I went from a British size 12 to a 18 with my second pregnancy nearly five year ago, took me two years to slim down to a size 14teen only for me to fall pregnant again I'm now a size 16 and trying hard to bring my weight down again..However no matter what size I went to my husband found me sexy.. And sex was never an issue..So looking at your post I can understand your hurt and emotional upset, but I do feel your going to have to sit down with him and discuss how you feel.It could be he thinks your too tired for sex, and maybe he just feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment now being a daddy .What you gotta point out is that's for relationships to survive like roses they need water to blloom, just as you do attention, try and make a special night get the twins down dress up a little, get your hair done remember and think about you both.. Have the talk and go from there .
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