A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my bf for a little over a year. He's smart, handsome and really outgoing. Women tend to love him (existing friends and strangers he just met) and I think he enjoys that too. There has been a few situations that bothered me and I told him. But now I feel like I've been labeled as being jealous and he thinks that I'm always suspecting him of cheating on me. Everything I say that is about a matter that involves women is interpreted that way and every time I ask a question he feels that I'm interrogating him and so he gets defensive. I'm don't suspect him of cheating and I've made efforts to be cool about the fact that women naturally gravitate towards him. But I feel like if he still thinks that I'm suspicious of him then I can't win. Today he admitted that if someone else asked him the same question I asked him, he wouldn't think anything of it. But because it's me he thinks I'm suspecting him. Whatever I do, he's always going to have that on his mind and frankly I'm tired of defending myself. Sometimes even without me bringing up anything of that nature, he imagines that that's what I had on my mind. I wonder if it's ever going to get better because it's been months and it seems like we haven't made any progress. I don't know how to explain to him that the efforts should go both ways and he should give me the benefit of the doubt.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2012): Tell him it's normal to get jealous now and then, if you didn't you wouldn't be normal... However you's both seem to be going round in circles, he thinks because you ask x y or z that your being jealous and possessive .He needs to get over himself, really.. To be honest I can't see this relationship continuing if that how he's going to act.. It may be best taking a breather from it, and doing your own thing for say a month or so then get together and talk things through.At the minute he's been judge juror and executioner and had decided that this is how you are.. When intact if you are both dating you have every right to mention situations that you feel uncomfortable with.If he's happy flirting in your face etc then that's never gonna change and your going to have to be prepared for it or move on from it..That decision lies with you...
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