A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I need help and advice on how I can do this, finally let go of my ex... Today after 10 years and 3 years seriously I have finally realised in my heart, soul and head that my ex partner has to be gone from my life. He is so bad for me, for any woman, despite fact I still want him and fancy him! (I think it is cause I never had him properly, you know) The fact is I must forget him though, he treated me like crap, was married, had affair with me, then when he did leave his wife Yes he did in the end!.... wait for it! it was for someone else not ME! He left me homeless years ago, ignores me, keeps sleeping with me when it was convenient to him and would meet me when he was free, never call me, on the rare occasions he did was on a withheld number, last time I saw him, I let him borrow money off me, He always went back to another girl he was in a serious relationship with and I always put up with it. No I am not a fool, I may seem it :) but he would tell me he loved me, was his soul mate blah blah and all though everyone hated him, I saw it through rose coloured lenses all time. even though I knew what was like, I make excuses! but I realised if I read that story in magazine, I would be like that girl is a fool, after so many years and at 32, her good years wasted, she needs to forget him and not ever give him a second thought... and that is what I want to do. This is the 3rd Christmas it has been like this and he has ignored me, and I want to start the New Year and have a New Life! like I said I saw him 2 weeks ago and lent him a lot of money (Prob to buy his girlf a nice gift! What a fool) and he was werid when woke up in morning. I am moving to Scotland from London in July and he keeps saying he will come with me and be with me then. I don't beleive a word he says anymore,and hwant to go alone and make a fresh start! as I said he woke up and then he left and haven't heard from him since. No Christmas message, gift, nought, just goes back to ignoring me. See how toxic and eveill he is. I WANT HIM GONE! I WANT TO FORGET HIM, but how? I am going to have some therapy in the New Year to help, but I also want to know how I can stop wanting him to want me and checking my emails every two seconds to see if he has emailed. I hate him, I do and have no intention of being with him, I am moving away and I am sure I will meet a lovely man. It is just hard. I am going out with mates and stuff. But I need to rid him from my mind.... HELPI would spend hours sending him these long I love you emails and stuff and never hear back, chase him, be used by him, still with the thought and notion then I would end up with him, even ruined a good relationship I should have entered. PLEASE can I have advice on what I can do to stop thinking about him, checking my emails, I long for the day I wake up and his not on my mind xxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Here is what I did:I made a plan and I stick to it. Register yourself on some dating site. See the kind of interest you get...that is always good for your ego. Browse through those things everyday. Try describing yourself nicely and see if makes you feel different. Date a few people. Maybe you may like someone. At least keep the option of dating open. Make a promise to yourself. Sit yourself down and talk to yourself explaining why you don't want him. It's not because you never had him properly, you know. It's because he is a loser. It is because he does not want you. Give yourself deadlines. And stick to them. Both push and pull factors work for a relationship breakup.
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