A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:about 6 months ago I found a naked photo of my boyfriends ex wife in his phone. We had been together about 6 years at this stage. He told me it was an old photo from years ago but his phone was only new - so either it was a new photo or he had recently uploaded it. Today I have found another photo in his phone - this time of some random lady. He tells me he had forgotten he had downloaded it and had not looked at it. The date in the details tab was 2 days ago. Just wondering if anybody has some thoughts on this. I should point out we had spent the weekend away together in nice hotel with no action and the previous time we'd made love was weeks ago after weeks of no sex - he couldn't go all the way and said it was because he wasn't desperate - despite us not having done it for weeks. Any thoughts here guys? I feel like 'he's just not that into me'
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust wanted to clarify.. I think he meant he wasnt desperate to finish as in his 'tank was empty'.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (14 August 2009):
 So? He has to be desperate to have sex with you?
Nice. Hope something was lost in translation there.
But it sounds like he has problems performing, maybe age or a combination of factors.
In it self, if he can't it might mean nothing for his feelings for you, but yeah, it is also a possibility he just ain't that into you.
How does he behave to you in other ways? You did have a trip together, who set it up? You don't take a woman you are not into to a hotel to not have sex with her.
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A
female
reader, sum4gvn  +, writes (14 August 2009):
 My personal opinion is that any behavior that is out of the ordinary is suspicious and shouldn't be ignored. It's hard to accept things we don't want to believe and no one wants to be labeled the "psycho-girlfriend" but I think there's something going on. Since it obviously makes you uneasy I think the least you should do is tell him that if you find anymore "old" or "forgotten" pictures of women on his phone or elsewhere then you're going to have to take a break from the relationship and decide if you can handle being alone or if your willing to continue being lied to and made to feel insecure.
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A
male
reader, ptw72a  +, writes (14 August 2009):
Yes it seems strange to have these pictures on his phone. And the answers he has given arent satisfactory.
I do think though, the mere fact you are looking at what is essentially a private thing (his phone) suggests a lack of trust within the relationship.
Six years together is not something to easily throw away though, id suggest counselling if unhappy with the relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): You have been together for 6 years, so you sort of get the picture as to why those types of photos are on a cell phone. I wouldn't know his intention to form a character of him as I don't know him. Being a big kid, or deriving pleasure over you finding out, or it's some sexual preference, or new experience for him. Maybe after 6 years you are both having a time-out period. He at least paid half for the hotel didn't he and spent time with you. He is treating you well in all other areas of the relationship, is he? What does, I'm not that desperate mean? I'm not desperately into it right now, or I'm getting it some-where else, or I'm having me and my photo time by myself, or not with you. It's up to the individual woman how she would respond to all of this, such as feel. And to know more about the character of the man. By staying in the relationship and I don't know if you are living together, he is into you, he just isn't into you sexually right now. You may need to get a paper and pen and write down the list of pros and cons of staying or going. He's not gone, so he's decided to stay.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 August 2009):
Well I don't know how much you value yourself but I wouldn't put up with that.
Why stay with a man who doesn't want you?
If I were you I'd tell him I'm thinking we should break up. If he makes effort to save the relationship then great, if he doesn't then you aren't wasting any more time.
Good Luck!! xx
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