A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a 53 year old male married to a 25 year old and we are having sexual problems not by me but her. we also have 4 children. Can you give me some advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 October 2011):
 a maid
a baby sitter
dinner out once a week just the two of you...
how are those for suggestions?
she is 25 and you have FOUR KIDS? she's exhausted. and touched out...
A
female
reader, unmeidaagonyaunt +, writes (16 October 2011):
 There are a few things about this simple question that throw up some red flags. Here goes:(a) Dude, it doesn't matter if the genesis of the sexual issue is with you or with her. The bottom line is that changes will have to be made by BOTH OF YOU to fix the issue. Sex is not a unilateral activity, so changing your sex life cannot be done unilaterally by definition.(b) With four kids involved, any solution to your sexual issues HAS to include child care to keep the kids at bay for a while. Seriously, that's just obvious. Ask any of the mothers on this site and they will back me up on that one.(c) Studies regarding female sexuality are very new (most decent studying of female sexuality didn't start until the 1990's, though there was some study before that), but the general consensus is that ... well, there is no consensus. Most women's sexuality is wrapped up in the psycho-sexual connections that the mind and body make, meaning that to get to your wife's yoni you will need to get into her head. I strongly recommend that you spend a lot of time asking your wife about what she does and does not like in bed. I also strongly recommend that you practice touching in a non-sexual manner to re-establish intimacy, something that tends to establish the mood for many women.I wish you luck in your endeavor to aid your sex life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2011): hi im 24 and my hasband is 46 and we have 2 children and im also a full time college student and my sex drive has also decreased and if my husband had it his way we would want sex at least 3 time a week i just am so tired at times also he is very understanding and we communicate so we just take one day out of the week and drop the kids off with his sister she is very helpful we have a date hop in the tube glass of wine and have great sex we may even take a trip to the sex store and buy a new toy but i think all she need is rest and help we hand twin 2 year boy and they are a handful hoped this help you
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (15 October 2011):
 Usually when a question is this short, I request more info. However, it's pretty obvious what the problem is here!
She's young (25) and with 4 kids! She's absolutely wiped out!! Little kids demand TONS of attention, and even one small one can tap a wife's strength and libido. Then she can see your sexual advances as yet another demand on her.
If you want to boost her sex life, GET HER SOME HELP!
4 kids are a lot of work, and I mean a LOT! If you have some means, get her help cleaning house. Take her out on dates and give her breaks from the daily grind. When you go to work, you get to leave work, come home, and put your feet up. She can't do that.
Seriously, investing in getting her "domestic reinforcement" or if you don't have the means, BEING the domestic reinforcement will get you very much farther in the sex department!
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