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My younger lover seems to have gone off sex, has he lost interest in me?

Tagged as: Age differences, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 September 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 September 2009)
A female South Africa age 51-59, *iss Frosty writes:

Dear Cupid

Tell me I am in a relasionship for almost 5 years. My fiance is 10 years younger then me. We have 2 kids together . We use to make love a lot, but 6 months ago things just changed? We havent made love ever since. I did ask him and he said that it is because he can't go on for long while making love and then I sighed one or twice after making love. He gets wet dreams now and again but still does'nt touch me and he doesn't french kiss me anymore. I KNOW he is not seeing anyone else. Do you think that is why he lost interest. I really need advice I am buzy going crazy with the tought that maybe he just lost interest. The last time we made love was also from the back. Please help

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009):

Well, six months is a long time not to have sex with someone, it seems to me he is punishing you for what he sees as an intended slight when you sighed after making love because he felt he did not go long enough.

I am not sure what to tell you to do, but one thing is for sure, stop focusing on him, stop doing so much for him and let him do things to take care of you.

Fix yourself up to the nines and go out without him, don't announce it, just do it, even if you have to go out to the shopping mall alone, let him think you are going out with a friend (don't pretend male or female) and then be gone a few hours...

Start doing things you enjoy on your own and forget about sex with him, take care of yourself and maybe try doing that while he is in the bed next to you and see his reaction and if you get a positive one, then go for it.

I think sometimes we women do too much for our men and they start to feel like they can't do anything outside of the bedroom for us. They want to feel respected and admired so find some things to feel respect for and admiration and tell him about it.

These are just suggestions you can try and of course talking about the lack of sex in my mind can just make him dig his heels in more and resist, if he is punishing you for something. This seems pretty controlling and or passive agressive behavior to me and that is one of the hardest things to deal with in a person. I wish you luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009):

He hasn't got his young man's problem of premature ejaculation under control yet, and he thinks you are bugged by it, so now he's got some kind of complex. Men worry so much about their sexual performance, if they think they are a disappointment it even puts them off trying. And on top of that, you have the usual issues of small children, which always stiffles the opportunities and the desire for frequent sex.

I think there is a lot of hope in this. I think you should employ all your sexy womanliness and seduce him and he won't be able to resist. Spend a lot of time on foreplay, and let him know you are satisfied before he even enters you, then you can enjoy penentration however long it lasts and he will enjoy his orgasm knowing you have had one too.

Good luck to you both.

And if he's still hung up on the premature ejaculation thing, remember, it's THE most common men's seuxal "problem", and there are loads of tips out there to help.!

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