A
female
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anonymous
writes:Im involved in a rather complicated situation.I have been frineds with this guy for 3 years almost now. He came into my life when I was going through a huge crisis. I was honestly about to have a break down. And he came in, and was there for me. He supported me and helped me get through it. Since then, hes ALWAYS been there for me. Whenever I need him, he will come. Its amazing. I have never had someone be there for me as much, apart from my mother of course. He accepts me for who I am- something which rarely happens. Most guys have always wanted to change me. We have so much in common too. And I have never felt so comfortable around someone. However not long after we met he had to move away for work. We kept in contact and nothing changed, if anything our relationship got stronger. He admitted to me he liked me at one stage and I said I liked him too but didnt think anything would work cause of the distance. He said he understood and he still stoood by me. Treated me the same as always- being such a caring friend and so on.Even when I have had bf's hes always been there for me. And when ive broken up- hes been there to listen. My last bf broke up with me recently, and he flew all the way to see me that very weekend!Hes never made a move on me, apart from that one time he told me he liked me which was earlier on. However lately I feel we have been getting so much closer then normal. Last week, he had been drinking one night and sent me messages to my phone and emailed me saying he loved me. He said he cant live without me and hes been in love with me for a while. I didnt get the messages till the morning. I sent him a message asking if he remembered anything from that night and he said no why and i said well you sent me some messages. He checked his sent inboxes and said he was very embarrased but it was perhaps some truth in it. I didnt know what to say and i still dont. Do you think he really meant it? Does he love me? Then, tonight he tells me he told some of his friends that im his gf. They asked him if i was his gf because hes always messaging me and he said he just played along, and now he has an excuse for why his frineds cant try to force girls onto him when they go out. Why would he do this? Im just rather confused. I Dont know how to feel. I care for him so much. Im not sure if i love him as a friend or more. How do i know? He seems so perfect for me. I have so much trust in him that he wouldnt hurt me. But soemthing is holding me back. But even if i did work out that i did love him, how could it work since he lives so far away? Thanks for any help in advance. By the way I am 20 and he is 21.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): I Know how you feel. I have a friend who likes me as more than a friend, but I'm not sure how i feel about him. I am willing to give it a shot, but i don't want to break his heart if it doesn't work out.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (3 September 2009):
Clearly he loves you but has got so far into the friend zone that he thinks you are not interested so is desperately trying to play it cool so he doesn't lose you all together.
If you love him then tell him. It doesn't have to be big and dramatic, just find an excuse to see him, get drunk flirt and then tell him you are scared of the distance but think it's silly pretending you are just friends.
As for whether it will work... well it's worked so far as a friendship, so as long as one of you or both of you are prepared to move to the same city at some point in the next 10 years then why can't it carry on the same with lots of kissing (etc) when you do get to see each other?
He's clearly been faithful to you so far. If you think you could do the same then give it a go!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): I think you love this guy very much. And there is potentiol for a long lasting relationship here, they say the best relationships are ones formed from freindships, because you know the person very well and vice verser. I say accept his love and give it a ago, but just act like you have been and that is always being there for achother and hopefully it will work out! DISTANCE DOESNT MATTER!
GOODLUCK
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): Ahhhhh, nice bloke. I'm just wondering if there is seuxal attraction between you why it has taken so long to come to the surface. To me it seems like a friends only thing, because I think something would have sparked up between you sexually before now if things were going that way.
Don't get together with this man just because you like him and he really likes you unless there is a strong physical urge in you. It's great to have a relationship with a man who is a true friend but you need the other man/woman elements to be present too..... Are they? Ask yourself! x
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