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My younger boyfriend cheated on me. Do I put it down to age and forgive him, or do I leave him?

Tagged as: Age differences, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 September 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, *esign writes:

I have a question of how to move forward without torturing myself further - tips to move on.

I am 39 yrs old and have been in a serious live in relationship with a 22yr old for two years. Just four months ago he followed me in a cross country move even though his parents weren't thrilled with it.

Flash forward to present....just three wks ago he started to go out with friends from work for Monday night football, pool, etc. Out not even three times. One of his coworkers (19yrs old) started flirting, of course she is the friend of his best friends gf. The texting began, etc....got ugly.

I finally after seeing him hiding the phone, etc...said he should leave or end this now before it goes further. Of course, i make him leave, and the next day he is hanging with her and her roommate watching a movie...then back to me the following night for crying and how wrong he is and how confused he is and he doesnt know what he wants.

The very next night, i go out with new friends to feel better - he texts that night at 1am to ask if i am having fun. I speak to him the next morning as he had left items at the house. Talk to him later in the day, want to see him , he says hes an emotional wreck, cries more on the phone to me and is upset.

I get up the nerve to txt the girl myself that evening and find out exactly what has happened....needless to say they had sex for the first time the night previous. He has lied to her more than me - and we are now not speaking at all.

My heart is broken, do i chalk this up to his age and the fact that he has been pretty sheltered? or do i just say cheater and move on...

I have not contacted him since nor he me...I am crushed but working on being positive...any suggestions from anyone who has been thru this?

View related questions: best friend, cheated on me, co-worker, crush, flirt, move on, roommate, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008):

To err is human, to forgive divine.

He cheated. It was bad. A terrible, scummy thing to do.

Every human deserves a second chance. But ONLY a second chance. It is up to him what he makes of it. Who knows, he might just learn.

So I say forgive him, take him back. But if he ever pulls a stunt like that again, to the curb with him.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, LaydeeLove..x United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2008):

you should not put it down to age he has cheated on you and lied to you thats the worse bit he Lied aswell you should not forgive this scum bag your should tell him where to go as once a man cheats you have no idea if its going to carry on as they think you are a softie and will always take them back you should show him that you are not a softie and you will not allow this cheating and espically after hes had sex with her ! yeah maybe like if he kissed her or hugged her then prehapes you could take him back but no way DO NOT take him back after he has slept with her as once a cheater all ways a cheater you can do ALOT better than this cheating Ahole x

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