A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am confused about the way I am feeling at the moment. I have been dating my boyfriend for nine months now and things are going generally well. At the beginning of our relationship, I was very keen and 'all over him'. Lately, however, I am refusing to kiss him on the lips and let him 'play' with me like before. I am not sure why this is, but it may be when he used to jump at the chance to admire my topless body when I undressed when we first got together. It made me uncomfortable and I disliked it. As time went on, I talked to him about it and undressed but making sure he was not nearby. Another issue is when he played with me. Although I enjoyed it, I was worried about being smelly (from discharge etc). Recently, he has been asking me to pleasure him, and want to 'give back', but because of my smell worry, I just refuse. We have discussed this problem and he assures me it doesn't smell but I remain paranoid (because I can smell it on my panties). I know we are still very keen on each other but I cannot continue feeling this way. I think that if I do, one or both of us will become unhappy and it will, eventually, split us up. But I don't know why I feel so and what to do. Please help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): I know that there is a 'natural' smell to the vagina. But every woman is different. I've dated women who I didn't like it 'down there'. There's nothing wrong with that. My wife also dated a few guys who she wouldn't 'swallow' because they just tasted bad to her. This is a part of life. Someone can just not like another person's general body odor. That is fine.
I would say don't worry about it unless you boyfriend expresses displeasure, they you 2 need to decide can you continue the relationship if he won't go 'down there'. It's not a deal breaker, but I think you should take some other posters advice, shower together, and see what happens. You might have had a previous boyfriend who made a comment and didn't like you 'down there', but this one might.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): A vagina has a natural smell that isn't bad at all. It's bad only when you have an infection or something. If you're sure there is no infection, whatever smell there might be is probably the normal smell of the vagina. No big deal. But I understand because I feel uncomfortable when a man goes down on me because I worry that it might smell or might taste bad...but most men don't seen to think that way. Since it doesn't bother them, it's all right. Try not to worry too much about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): Maybe a way to approach this until you are comfortable is to take a shower together. You will be in close proximity so although you're naked you can get up close to him and he won't see you as well. Also your lower half will be nice and clean so you can remove the towel in bed and know that you will be nice and fresh down there. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): ** There are a lot of other things you guys can do in bed together if you feel unconfortable about oral sex. I feel the same way as you do and enjoy sex in many other ways :)
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A
female
reader, neomum +, writes (11 January 2012):
We women worry about anything but as he has told you you don't smell but you can smell it. Your worrying over nothing unless your having white/creamy discharge their is nothing wrong with you. Enjoy having oral sex with each other and go with the flow.
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