A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am an unhappily married man wanting very badly to have an affair with my wife's sister...but i keep blowing the opportunites that i am getting. i am feeling very regretful and angry. i know she wants me to initiate somthing, but every time i get an opportunity i fail...i wish i knew what to do. i am really in love with her, and my wife will not divorce me. it's her sister that i am in love with, and want to be with but i keep blowing my opportunities...any suggestions???
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affair, divorce, married man Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm sorry but it is not lust it is love. i am truly in love with her. i miss her everytime she leaves. i pray i will get the chance to be alone with her again. i am going to kiss her and i am going to tell her i am in love with her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): Hi Hunny,
With all the love in my heart Im going to tell you if you are no longer happy with your wife and you havent tryed councelling or anyway of trying to get your marraige back on track, Let her go to be happy..But please leave her sister alone, Ive seen this first hand and the pain that it causes to a family is heartbreaking hunny.
Love and lust are quite different and she may be doing this to wind you up!
And its working big time, Take a step back love and remember how it was with you wife and if you cant find the very reason you married her then do the right thing by her, But let her get on with her life and build up her self confidence again leaving her sister well out of it.. TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): Let me guess, you watch porn dont you? Seriously why would you want to be with a woman who would do this to her own sister? YUK...
Isnt a woman with moral important to you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): Your not in love with your wifes sister your in lust with her....Im sorry but what you have described makes you lower than low as far as I can see..... Your wife deserves so much better.....God knows this woman has proabably even had your babies and this is how you treat her....
The answer is simple...Go to your wife..tell her 'look honey, Im an umcommmited , selfish teenager who lives my life based on my hormones....I want to sleep with your sister'...Let her leave , take you to the cleaners and find someone decet who deserves her...Then you can move on to the sister have yoyr six months of fun until she notices you eyeing of the 16year old neighbour and dumps you! Men like you are all the same...
Oh, and with a little luck your wife will have the sense to keep any kids away from your bad influence.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): Firstly you keep saying your not in love with your wife your in love with her sister. Yet you havent cheated on her what does that tell you...that you care for your wife. I dont know her side of the story of your unhappy marriage but instead of focusing on your attraction to her sister, first sit and think about this: If your wifes sister is giving you vibes its showing that she has no respect or love for her sister that she is willing to start something with her own sisters husband. Is that a woman you want to get involved with? Also put yourself in your wifes place. A marriage is made of two people; you say your unhappy what about how she feels. How would you feel if she went out and cheated on you..would it hurt you? yes. happy or unhappy you got married for a reason. and to make it worse its her sister. What if she got vibes from one of your family members...it works both ways you need to think about your wife. If your marraige is on the rocks..make an effort dont give up on it. Spice things up, compromise tell each how you feel. no marriage is easy..you need to work on it not think of adultry. just think about this..you can turn your marriage into a happy one!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007): Honestly pal, I think you need to grow up. You convey here what it is that you want, but we don't get to hear your wife's perspective, or even why you think she deserves a divorce. Now you want to be intimate with her sister in the midst of your marital turmoil? Come on! Could you be any more selfish!
For the sake of argument, if you were to divorce your wife and marry her sister, or simply have a relationship with her, I'm not really certain how you could trust her. If she'll play with you behind her sisters back, it certainly is not a stretch to believe that she'll play with someone else behind yours. And your insecurity would be justified, seeing as how it is your wish to be unfaithful.
You're not thinking with your head. Your thinking with something else. And as a man, I understand how easy it is for us to do this, but you're really asking for for a poor situation to become much, much worse. You need to act with some integrity here. Again, if you can't control your libido and act honestly with your wife, you won't be able to expect the same from anyone else, including her sister.
Fix or terminate your marriage first. Only then can you see if you should have something with the sister. Maybe the reason why you keep "blowing your opportunities" is because your conscience knows to act out with her would be wrong, and perhaps you would feel guitly. This may be a safety mechanism enacted by your subconscience. Simply do the right thing here. If you need sexual release, there is more than enough porn on the internet to tide you over until the resolution of this situation.
Sorry if this sounds tough, but I think this is one of those perhaps rare situations that can be viewed in a black and white context. Take care of yourself.
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