A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 3 yrs. 2 of those yrs. we were both in the army 15mths. deployed together. we recently got out and moved. everything was going fine but 3-weeks ago her friend asked her to be in her wedding. so i told her she could go and she did. assuming she would be gone a couple of days no big deal. she calls me and says my family wants me to stay here for the 4th july. i was not to happy but agreed. she finally pulled up at our house on the night of the 6th and she was on the phone. to make this story short we exchanged words because she got her tongue pierced and she was talking to a male friend. i called her various bad names and she says she does not love me anymore and she went to a divorce attorney today what is really going on here we have a 2yr old son that loves us both very much. what should i do?
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (12 July 2009):
 What's with calling her names? Do you do that often? If you're cruel to her a lot I can see why she sought out that lawyer. I think there is more to this situation than you're letting us know, and that is the real reason she wants a divorce.
Talk to her and see if you can resolve this. Ask her what her problems are, and then really listen to her. If she brings up problems, work out a solution to them together and then stick to your word.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 July 2009):
 You let your young wife return home to see all her old friends at a SUPER romantic event for a COUPLE of days and did NOT accompany her, and you ask what happened?
She met an old flame and that rekindled fire was or at least seemed a lot hotter then the fire in her marriage especially since it had just been doused by the cold water of you letting her go alone.
Most likely, she felt that she was suddenly free of the constraints of her marriage and motherhood. Wether this is a panic attack (the pierced tongue thing makes it seem like she reverted back to teen girl behavior), similar to a midlife crisis OR a true end to the relationship remains to be seen.
Since you were dense enough to let her go alone, you might have missed subtle clues that she was disastisfied with the marriage. Look back, was she?
Is this 'just' a woman who suddenly felt trapped in her marriage when given a taste of both freedom and her younger teen days when she didn't have the responsibilties she has now or was there more going on?
Whose family wanted you to visit for the 4th? And where was it, same place she was staying? It is a bit confusing.
A: She missed you and wanted you to come to her location and used an excuse.
B: She wanted you out of the way.
A, you were stupid but still got a chance if you can accept what might have happened (which might be nothing).
B, get a lawyer.
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