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male
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anonymous
writes: my wife and I have talked about our sexual past, she has some real issues when it comes to strippers and the people shes with. it seems to all stem from her ex-husbands bacherlor parts at a strip club. she told me she had no problem at first with this tradition but when she found out what really goes on at these clubs she was mortified. she told me she wanted to call of the wedding. she was married for a long time has now since divorced for other reasons but has never gotten over this. it carrys into other relationships. she cant see, hear anything that triggers the notion of a stripper ineracting with men. now in our relationship, we are open with each other and I told her of some of me strip club times. one involved touching a strippers private areas at the club. this has her very upset with me when it comes to mind. she cant believe I could have done such a thing. I told her it was when I was very young (17) before I was married and that I was not proud of this time in my life. I also told her about some of my earlier girls I was with that only involved intercourse with no relationship. she also thinks this is nasty. she has only had relations with people she cared about and cant understand how I could give myself to just anyone that spread her legs. again I was you with raging hormones as was she. but I couldnt conrol them like she could. she has told me she was a virgin when she married and I cant even remember who I lost my viginity to. she has said for some reason the thought of me doing these things disturbs her more than when she was with anybody else. this problem is causing issues when we are intimate, like when I touch her in a way simular to how I dicribed touching some one else. I wish we could have never talked about our past as it seems to affect me when I think of her with others. I have a a way of keeping these thoughts to myself but she cant and it puts her in a bad space util she gets over it. please anybody out there, we need some help. we are now happily married in love with each other with a child on the way.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): Thing is what's done is done. I can understand her shock but things need to be putting perspective. You have already told her that you dont feel any sense of pride about these things plus you're not doing them when with her. Reitterate the fact that you're not proud of it but at the same time its in the past and it cant effect the marrage forever because its over and done with. And remind her that you're not doing any of this now. Ok its a shock to her but she has to realise that you're now grown up, otherwise wouldnt you still be doing this stuf?
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2006): Why the hell should she get over it. Batchelor parties are totally disrespectful to your wifea and why would you even want to have anything to do with strippers ever again???
She is about to become the mother of your child and its about time you grew up, learned to treat women with respect and respected her feelings.
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