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male
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*adtobe
writes: She is 26 and I am 31. When my girlfriend of 18 months found she was two months pregnant with our child I freaked out and finished the relationship. Shortly after this I realised what a wonderful gift this was, but she absolutely refuses to take me back. She has a 4 year old from a previous relationship who she has brough up alone and whom I adore..but not quite the same support network now to manage with. She maintains she wants me to be close to our child and be a responsible parent. I am in love with her, and I miss her terribly but she won't tell me whether she could ever love me again for what I did. She is due in May and I'm anxious about being a target of her spite and a failed father. I can't walk away from this problem, but it is only getting worse..HELP! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Carrie-Lucie +, writes (25 January 2006):
give her space, she is probably very confused and angry with you - you need to be persistant to show her you're serious but not too in her face or it will irritate her. it's a dificult one, but chances are she will realise you're serious about it when you dont give up after the first few failures. good luck - the fact that you're obviously this worried about it shows you'll make a great dad. take it slowly and try and help her through it all. :)
A
male
reader, dadtobe +, writes (20 January 2006):
dadtobe is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your kind thoughts. I suppose it's hard to make someone believe you've changed without actually demonstrating it too. At he moment it seems the harder I try, the worse it gets! I appreciate your advice and will post an update.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 January 2006):
 Be a winning Dad to your child. Be a financial and emotional support to your baby. Take care of, and watch your child grow. Be proud of him or her.
These are things you should be prepared to do anyway, but I suspect that when you do all you can to be the best father you can be, you'll also have done all that you can possibly do to rekindle the love your ex once had for you.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (19 January 2006):
 I would say be prepared for a long haul. She is most likely focusing on her impending pregancy right now and may regard your entreties to get back as a pressure she doesn't need. I would like to think however that it is possible to win her back.
Focus on providing her with all the support that you can. Be there with emotional and literal support as she moves through the pregancy and try to restict your expression of feelings. Do little things to show you still care and adore her but put the issue of gtting back on the back burner. When you feel the moment is right bring it up again. Declare your feelings and hopefully you will sway her heart back towards you. Good luck :)
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