A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a dilemma. My wife has a very disfunctional family. Her mother took off when she was two never to be seen from again, and her father has been in and out of her life for her 30 years. She was raised by her fathers parents and his sister. Her grandfather passed twelve years ago. Her grandmother and her aunts are real scumbags. They have no morals, live like trash, and try to be very controlling. Her family has caused us a lot of trouble with our relationship, to the point we separated and one of her aunts hooked my wife up with one of her friends. The split was due to us arguing over money spent on her family, and lies about each of us cheating on each other. Her aunt and grandmother also lied to me when she was pregnant with my oldest and tried to convince my wife to hide the pregnancy from me. She hasn't had any contact with them in over three years, but saw them at a funeral. Now she wants to re establish a relationship with them. I really don't want to keep her from her family, however I want nothing to do with them. As well, we have had no fights and have had a very good relationship without interference from them. Lastly, I don't want my children exposed to their lifestyle. How do I handle this??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): They haven't changed. They're just the same. I don't want my kids exposed to drugs out in the open, blowing smoke at them, and a bug infested house. Different lifestyles are one thing, these people are just unhealthy on many levels. Not to mention the strain they have placed on our marriage.
A
female
reader, Mint93  +, writes (29 July 2013):
I understand that your lives have been much better without her family. Nevertheless, stopping her seeing them would just end up in more arguments and could end up with her resenting you.
You should sit down with her, talk through your worries with her, and explain just how far you have come. If she still wants to see them then maybe you could suggest that she does so alone, without you and the children. So she could go and meet up with them, communicate with them whilst you and your children get on with your lives.
Good luck and keep me updated.
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