A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: i have a problem. my wife and i have been together for several years now and we have always had our ups and downs. we have both done things in our time together to hurt each other and we both dont like it. the problem now is that we drifted apart from each other and she met a guy online and is inlove with him and says she has fallen out of love with me years ago. she says there are no feelings there to try for. she says she cares about me as the father of our kids but she does not love me. iam lost i have changed so many things about myself for the better and i have been able to keep the changes and i like them. my distractions from her and the family are gone and iam only focusing on them. problem is she does not love me. i fallowed different books and everything. counsellors and preachers but nothing seems to work. i love her so much i dont want to let her go but she frustrates me that she does not think she needs to change herself or work on any of the problems in our marriage. what do i do? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): I have to say this sound similar to another recent post save it is coming from the Wife's side. In that post she says her Husband never cared for her, loved her the way a husband should a wife, to the point of not having sex with her.
Regardless. It takes two people to say and work to keep a marriage and one person to excercise their agency and walk.
At the end of the day, you wanting to MAKE her stay will only make her resent and hate you more.
Get yourself some marriage counselling. If after that, she still chooses to walk, stay in counselling to cope with the separation/divorce.
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (27 November 2012):
I third the sentiments of the online "lover." Its pathetic. Also, I would make sure you have documentation of that. You will likely need it in divorce court.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (25 November 2012):
Let her go. Whether you meet someone else or not would be nothing compared to living the rest of your life with her. You have been together several years, and now she announces she has fallen for a man online? Not someone you can depend on really, is it? She is emotionally immature and ridiculous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): She is in love with a man on line? I am sorry but for someone to be 'IN LOVE' with someone they have never met. What a joke! She has no idea who this person really is! When I was younger my sister and I used to get on and pretend to be strippers in from a strip club.
I honestly would just tell her to get over it and if she really loves him well good luck love let me help you pack, but the kids stay with me (YOU) because there is no way on earth my kids will be going with their father if he was "in love" with some chick he has never met.
Good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (24 November 2012):
Hi
What do you do? You end this sham of a marriage.
This so called wife of yours should be packed off to her 'internet lover' (who will probably make her totally miserable) but thats her problem.
You start afresh, hard as it will be to get over her,you WILL and you'll be happy again eventually.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): You are both young and it seems that the relationship has run it's course. Sad, but that sometimes happens. If you have tried everything you can to be what she wants but failed, then I'm afraid you can't make her love you the way you want. So it may be best to accept the situation and start again. You have your life ahead of you and I would look to a future beyond the marriage
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): Your marriage is over. I would be grateful it was over if I had a wife like her. Why dont you end it and get something better.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): to be honest, in your situation i would throw her to her online man and say good riddance. its easy for me to say, i know that, but i would get rid asap.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): Sorry, but get her out of your life completely. She is fickle and too wrapped up in herself. She wont ever make you happy. She will only make you miserable. You could do better than her. she met a guy online? That says everything.
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