A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been exposed to porn since I was a toddler. I used to look at the pictures in the softcore magazines stacked in my Dad's wardrobe when he was downstairs. Later, when I understood when I was looking at, I masturbated over them regularly. This continued right through high school and college and then I went to university. I never used porn at university but I had an over active imagination if you know what I mean.I discovered internet porn in about '98 and what started off as a bit of glamour softcore has mutated and grown into hardcore. I can't seem to stop looking at it.I met my wife ten years ago and we've been married for two years. Our sex life has always been a struggle, mostly due to inexperience, but since we married it has grown more and more infrequent. Now we are lucky if we have a quick fumble every couple of months. It's in a really bad way but neither myself or my wife want to admit it to each other, nor do we feel our relationship is dependant on sex for its survival.The problem for me is that, while our relationship is in this state, I look at porn more and more often - so much that I suspect I'm addicted - I feel I can't get through life without a fix. And it's growing worse... I've recently discovered porn chat rooms and have had simulated sex on more then one occassion. I feel incredibly guilty about it but I just couldn't stop myself... there was something more going on then what was going on in my own bedroom!The problem is, my wife has never found out I've looked at porn and she thinks I'm an innocent. I feel I'm using porn to make up for a weak spot in my marriage but if my wife ever found out it would hurt her so much. I'm also worried I'm going to start trying to seek out new and more hazardous ways to get my fix. I feel more corrupt and dirty then ever.And I don't feel I can stop. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008): i fluctuate between times of high and low porn use but would consider myself addicted, as you also suspect you are - it's just a part of my life. my wife and i also have a less than ideal sex life, but it's not broken. i find that during the times when i masturbate/climax less, i have more energy to direct towards my wife (no surprise there really), which if not overdone usually results in fun and games - although I still want more... sometimes just a brief look at porn (no climax) every other day seems to satisfy the addiction, while not sabotaging the marriage. maybe give it a try.
A
female
reader, scorpioqt86  +, writes (3 September 2008):
Well I'm not sure if you are addicted to porn, but I think your case is different from a lot of men who are looking at porn AND getting sex from their wife. Have you two discussed the sex that you're not having? If not I would suggest that you two sit down and have a discussion about this, and try to resolve the issue. Is there a reason that she does not want to have sex, because it's quite obvious that you want to??? As far as the simulated chats, now that is a different story, I think that is going to far because you are talking to a "real" person. Even though the contact is not face-to-face I think it is still wrong, and as you mentioned yourself you feel that you may start doing more things "to get your fix". Good Luck, I really hope it works out for the best.
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