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male
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anonymous
writes: Whenever our family go on holiday my wife seems determined to spoil it for everyone. Last year she spent two days looking very annoyed, then, blew up at me for something trivial (the entrance fee to a waxworks would you believe, it wasn't even as if she was paying!). This sort of thing happens every year. I end up trying desperately hard to keep her and the kids happy and end up having an awful time myself.Now course it's holiday time again and to be frank I'm dreading it. I've done everything I can to plan for all eventualities, but, already she is picking holes in the arrangements we were both happily making three months ago. What is going on?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2006): I agree 100% with Jadzia1127 - your wife may be having mental issues and you should NOT enable the reaction. Do either of her parents behave the same way, meaning, could this be a learned behavior? I wanted to add my two-cents after witnessing my brother's marriage of 27 years to a woman who's negativity made every one arround miserable. We did not enjoy their visits and would attempt to avoid when possible. She complained, snarled, lit off on my brother and their kids constantly. He continually tried to appease her (to no avail) and the visits always ended with her blowing up and demanding they leave. We could not understand why he stayed with her, and the damage to the kids is very apparent as they now reach young adulthood. I truly wish I would have said something back then, as it was obvious the woman just didn't know her boundries. That's my suggestion to you: establish bounderies. If she can't comply, ask her to stay home and you take the kids on a vacation you can enjoy!
Good luck, and be true to yourself.
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (21 July 2006):
 It sounds like you have already tried to talk to her, tried to be reasonable and rational.
She could have mental issues and need medication. She could also just be very controlling and needs to take anger management classes.
I am sure that this problem is very hard during holidays but I highly doubt that is the only time there are problems with her.
I suggest you talk to her doctor about these outburst. Encourage her to follow her doctors suggestions. If she refuses you are the father and your job is to protect your children even if it is from their own mother.
DO NOT passively roll over and allow to her continue in these tirades for they will only get worse, your children will have a hard time dealing with people positively, and she will make your years together miserable.
Good luck you're going to need it!
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A
male
reader, cherub +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Sorry to hear of your dilemma and I thought I was the only one who had this problem.There must be a support group for people suffering from this problem?To share a little of my tale,like you all my previous holidays with my family,I had to walked on egg shells for the entire duration so that at least my children can have a pleasant holiday by pacifying my wife.
Some of the reasons I can think of you probably have thought of it yourself.Anyway here are some,possible stress from worrying about packing,pets,house,finances,flight,length of flight,things to wear,when there,weather too hot too cold too humid too noisy too expensive,children safety,etc etc.
Agreed with willywombat,share with her your concern and together share responsibility in dealing with what may be causing her stress.What you think is trivial may not be for her.If you have already done all that before and it is still the same then you have to find some time each day for yourself for me time and relax.Grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change,give me the courage to do those that I can and give me the wisdom to know the difference.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2006): leave her, marry me, my partner is the same, lets swap LOL
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 This sounds like a stress reaction. Is she feeling ok about going away or is she worried about something? Before you go I think you should sit down and try to TALK to her about how her behaviour makes you feel and how it is going to ruin your holiday. Do not lay blame, try to talk without being accusatory. Talk before you go and try to avert a disaster before it happens.
x
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