A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:During the covid epidemic, my wife started working out hard and has lost the last bit of weight she wanted to. She looks fantastic now, my issue is she has ordered some very short dresses and skirts and now that most of the stores have reopened, she is wearing this skimpy attire out in public. She loves the attention she is getting, the calls and whistles from men. I am concerned that she will find this to tempting and may stray from the relationship because of this. Any suggestions ? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2020): Sounds a little to me that you are insecure in your relationship in general and didn't realize it until your wife became 'hotter than you'. Be confident in your love for each other, and appreciate your wife's new found confidence! Try getting fitter yourself, and/or really showing her how hot she is and how much you want her. Women don't stray just because they're getting attention from other men. Women stray if there a deeper problems that aren't getting resolved. Try to think a bit more about why you are feeling this way, and perhaps bring it up with her!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 July 2020):
 As a married woman who has lost weight myself, I didn't do it to get attention from other men. I did it for my own well being and health.
Sure, I dress BETTER now. I don't HIDE as much. But I honestly DGASF what OTHER men might think.
I certainly don't consider straying or cheating, not now not ever. I'm NOT that kind of person. Skinnier or fat.
Give her compliments. It seems she CRAVES to hear that she looks good. Why not be the person to MAKE her feel good?
And it's SUMMER! Of course clothes are a little skimpier! Maybe take her shopping? Since there are still some restrictions, how about making her a romantic dinner or picnic? Woo her a little?
There is nothing WORSE than having a closet full of clothes you can't fit.
Being skinnier and feeling better about herself IS NOT what would make a wife stray.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2020): I get that. After the baby my wife joined a gym. I was like whoa -- she looks better than ever. I rater her look extra hot and get flirted with a little than not. You should be happy for her, and yourself. Don't be so suspicious. Keep her happy.
Buy her some real sexy stuff to wear on vacation. Somehow I didn't mind that at all. A little misbehaving will soon be in the reviewer mirror.
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A
female
reader, EmmyApple +, writes (23 July 2020):
Wow. Most men are upset because their wives gained weight. I can’t believe you’re upset because your wife lost weight!
Weight is a super sensitive topic for women. It has been a big problem in my marriage because both me and my husband have put on weight (him about 50 pounds... me 30 pounds before the lockdown and about 15 more since due to staying inside all day, no physical activity, and feeling scared and overeating a lot for comfort) and we don’t find each other very attractive anymore.... He demands that I lose weight even though he puts in no effort on himself. We have argued about it a lot and it’s made me feel awful about my body.
What you need to understand is that women really, really need to feel desired. Even though I am quite a bit overweight I still dress to show off my assets that I feel good about... leggings and low cut tops, but hiding my problem areas like my tummy! I haven’t been able to lose weight yet but if I can lose some of my belly I would love to wear crop tops and sports bras. That’s my goal!!
Am I a bad person? Hell no. I’m a woman trying to love her body and your wife is too. Yes I get looks from time to time but I don’t flirt with other guys and I am not unfaithful to my husband.
Besides, he constantly stares at every sexy woman he sees, and constantly scrolls through Instagram looking at sexy models. And even though we’ve argued about it he won’t stop. How is that any different?
Your wife isn’t doing anything wrong but I’m guessing you aren’t making her feel desired. You ought to be making her feel like the most lusted after woman in the world. But it takes a confident man to do that. You seem insecure.
Please don’t tell her what to wear. She can wear whatever she wants. I would never tolerate my husband controlling my clothing choices!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2020): Hmmmmmmm! It seems this whole account comes from a guilty-conscience!
Could it be you were paying her little to no attention before? Could it be she just decided, she wants to look good and feel fit? Be noticed for being beautiful both inside and out? Could she possibly have an attention-deficiency that forced her to seek attention wherever she could find it, because there was little of it at home?
If you were doing all you could as a good-husband, maybe you wouldn't be paranoid. You didn't mention any occasions or past incidents you suspected her of cheating. You fear she might?!!
If you never pay your wife and partner compliments, they don't have to cheat; they'll seek ways to elevate their self-esteem without you.
She's always watching your reaction around other women. If you tend to stare, compliment other women in-front of her, visit porn sites, check-out pretty girls on Facebook and social media, you're too chatty with your pretty-neighbors, never seek her opinions, and take her for granted in-general. You reap what you sow!
Cat-whistling and blatant gawking after women is all but absent in the United States. It's kinda outdated anyway. The #MeToo Movement is shutting-down blatant disrespect for women in public! I think your imagination is getting out-of-hand. I feel proud when people find my mate attractive. I'm the lucky-guy! I think in this situation you're exaggerating for the sake of argument. If she gets a lot of male-attention; the clothes have nothing to do with it. If she's a lovely female, that's enough. That will get stares and attention alone.
You don't approve of her present taste in fashion? Apparently, she has reached her goal; and that was to be fit, and look great in her outfits. Why aren't you more supportive? She's YOUR wife! You reap all the benefits of her great body, and personality! You have total access to that hot-bod whenever you want it! Does she reject you?
I've personally found it is always better to talk to my partner; before I assume the worse. I think you should celebrate her new look; because you're they guy with that hot woman!
If you're right, and she is searching for another man. Look back in retrospect, and try to figure-out where it all went wrong? Everything happens for a reason. Life is not a series of random-events. Everything is cause and effect; or one thing leads to another. If you love her, save your marriage; but don't let jealousy, possessiveness, or paranoia cancel-out the effectiveness of loving her. Our world is gone crazy. Relationships with family and romantic-partners are somehow under siege. The devil is having a field-day! I workout, stay fit, and dress to kill. I do it because I like to, not to make my partner feel I'm out trying to cheat. It has never come-up; because we love each-other too much. If you love her, let her know you appreciate her; and you think she's beautiful. It will level-off; she's doing this for an uplift in her spirit. Maybe there is a deficiency somewhere like I suspect. If you are hardheaded, you will let jealousy make you say and do something stupid. Read our advice, and think before you act!
Your insecurity or jealousy is your issue to deal with. If it manifests in mistreating or trying to stifle your wife's progress; that's how you will lose her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2020): Sir, marriage is based on trust, and you are not showing trust to your wife! You know that she is thriving on attention, as most people do. You need to show her more attention than anyone else can! Remember Friend, that you have home field advantage! Sincere Compliments/Flowers for NO reason except Love/Compliment her clothes choice and that she wears it, so well/Avoid porn, unless you use it together/Understand HER feelings, and do that by being her sounding board/If she wants to make Love, do not reject her unless you are too ill/Make sure that you are initiating sex at least 3X per week/Enjoy Her, Love Her, and Trust Her, and tell her those things OFTEN! You must communicate with her, your own feeling, but avoid showing Jealousy! If you do all of this Friend, she will feel Loved and Secure, in your marriage, and have no desire to stray! Blessings for You and your Beautiful Wife, my Friend!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2020): I wouldn’t worry about her straying for now. Her dressing skimpy and enjoying attention from other men may just be a phase that will die down once she is used to her new weight. She may have been feeling dumpy prior to her weight loss, so the attention feels great right now. Speaking as a married woman myself, it does feel flattering when another man notices me. It’s not that I’m interested in that random man that checked me out. It more serves as a “confirmation” of what my husband says to me. See, if my husband were to tell me I was beautiful, sexy, etc, yet I was seemingly invisible to EVERY man besides him who crossed my path, I would begin to wonder if the positive things my husband tells me about my appearance are exaggerated or if he just tells me those things to be polite, or because he feels he “has to” as my husband. If I truly am beautiful, other men would certainly notice, right?
I’m giving you this perspective to try to help explain where your wife may be coming from. Maybe she also views other men’s attention as confirmation of the compliments you give her. And maybe she believes if you see other men ogling her, it will make her seem all the more attractive TO YOU. Maybe she believes it will make you think “damn, I’m a lucky man.” That said, in my personal opinion, she doesn’t need to dress so skimpy. I don’t want to sound judgmental, but I too lost a fair amount of weight in the last few years, and while I dress more feminine now, my skirts don’t go above the knee, and I don’t wear low cut tops. You can dress plenty feminine while still being modest. I get checked out occasionally, but I don’t get whistled or called at constantly like your wife (or at all.) So it does sound like she is going quite overboard in the way she is dressing, for being a married woman, but hopefully it’s just a phase, and soon she will be annoyed with it and start covering up a bit more.
At the end of the day, whether she would cheat or not depends on what her own personal morals are. However, it sounds like for now she is just enjoying the extra attention.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2020): Give her the attention and the validation that she seems to crave. Rather sad that a woman in this day and age will tolerate this cat calling from men, let alone enjoy it, when the rest of us are trying to get this to stop.
But anyway, she would love to have this kind of attention from her husband so make sure she gets it. Let her know that you think she looks sexy and fit and let her know that you are turning her on. You are the man that she invited into her bed and her body not these strangers and she will be seeking YOUR validation and approval of the way she looks.
I left a wonderful man whom I was going to marry for a man who could treat me as a sexual being. My former fiancee could not. He loved me to bits, but couldn't show me how he felt about me sexually other than if we were in bed and I really wanted this from him in the guise of a look or a comment on occasion throughout the day. This is why women take all this trouble with their appearance, they want to be desired by the man they have given the green light to.
If you give her this kind of attention, then I believe you will be fulfilling her needs.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (20 July 2020):
 Yes, be happy for her and congratulate her on all the hard work she has endured to get where she is. She actually feels good about her self, so surely this is a good thing.
Stop thinking she is going to stray, you will drive yourself around the bend. Instead be happy for her, she is married to you, not the people who wolf whistle her. Be proud for your attractive fit wife.
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