A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My ex walked out on me and our kids and her younger sister came to stay with us for a while just to help me look after my children because suddenly becoming a single Dad without any warning was totally mind blowing to me. We've settled down a bit and now my ex's sister is staying with her brother until she goes back home in a couple of weeks. Home for her is hundreds of miles away. My ex hasn't spoken to any of her family since they basically told her what an idiot she was for walking out on her own children and she hasn't had any contact with the kids. Thing is, I've spent a lot of time with my ex's sister over the past few weeks and I've fallen for her. We get on so well together. I've never really spent any time around her before but we just clicked. We spent most evenings together just talking and we have so much in common. I know it's not something that I can even attempt to make happen because of who she is but she's constantly on my mind. How do I just forget her? She'll be back around for the holidays and I feel so strongly for her. I'm going to go mad having her around, trying to act like her brother-in-law when I want to be with her. How can I get rid of these feelings?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): I think I just need something stable in my life right now and she kind of sorted everything out. She was a huge help and just calmed everything down. I've let my ex's elder daughter stay with us now, even though we don't really have the room, and I can feel things becoming unsettled again already. She's such a bad influence on the children but I just feel sorry for her. She's an ex drug addict, she's been in a bit of trouble with the law and she doesn't have a job but she's trying to sort herself out. She's been clean for a while now and hasn't been in any trouble recently either but she's just a rebelious sort of person and it rubs off on my kids. She's struggling to get a job because of her past and I don't want her ending up in a mess again but I can't deal with this right now. It just feels like such an uphill struggle and I suppose I just wish I had somebody there with me.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (23 November 2007):
 Hi,
You are on the rebound, so be very carefull. I feel personally it would be a bad mistake to tell the sister how you are feeling at the moment. It could push her away, and ruin the freindship that you have with her.
You need some time to think about this. Maybe when the dust settles you could get together and it might be different.
Think about your kids, they have already had the truma of their mother leaving. So the last thing they need is to be mixed up further with you having a relationship with their Aunt.
Hope it all works out for you.
XX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): Thank you :)It's difficult. We're not divorcing because we never married. We were together for a very long time though. My ex has a new man because she was the cheat not me. I don't really have money or property. I earn enough to live on, pay rent etc. but I don't have anything in savings. What I do have saved is my kids not mine. The only thing she could possibly take from me is the children and she doesn't seem to want those so hopefully I'm safe there.They're a very close family in general but they're a very big family too. My ex and this particular sister aren't especially close and my ex hasn't had anythign to do with her siblings or parents since she left me.I'm not sure why she stayed with us really. Though she's single, no kids, does temp. work so I think she maybe fancied a break and there was nothing stopping from her coming to see her nieces and nephews for a while.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (22 November 2007):
 I do not think getting rid of those feelings will happen.
I think it is a matter of not acting on them at this time.
Why did her sister step up? Did her family put her up to it, or does her sister fancy you as well, and has been waiting for her chance?
My suggestion is not to make a move UNTIL you are sure.
One last thing...have you filed divorce papers, or gotten a lawyer to make sure your accounts are safe? Is her sister wokring for your ex to spy on you to see if you are cheating so that she could use it against you?
I think you are vulnerable right now, and THAT is why you ha ve fallen for her...I think any man would fall for the woman that steps in to take care of his family when he is weakened.
I suggest that you do not trust your own judgement at this time as you are still dealing with shock. THings are not always as they appear. This could just be a set up.
Protect your kids, and protect the means of providing for them (accounts, assets, property, etc...).
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (22 November 2007):
I do not think getting rid of those feelings will happen.
I think it is a matter of not acting on them at this time.
Why did her sister step up? Did her family put her up to it, or does her sister fancy you as well, and has been waiting for her chance?
My suggestion is not to make a move UNTIL you are sure.
One last thing...have you filed divorce papers, or gotten a lawyer to make sure your accounts are safe? Is her sister wokring for your ex to spy on you to see if you are cheating so that she could use it against you?
I think you are vulnerable right now, and THAT is why you ha ve fallen for her...I think any man would fall for the woman that steps in to take care of his family when he is weakened.
I suggest that you do not trust your own judgement at this time as you are still dealing with shock. THings are not always as they appear. This could just be a set up.
Protect your kids, and protect the means of providing for them (accounts, assets, property, etc...).
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): You cannot fight something that is there. Do you know how your ex's sister feels? Talk to her tell her how much you enjoy being around her and how thankful you are for all the help she's given you and the children. You have to wonder if your ex's sister would be with her own sister's ex husband. What does she thing of your ex wife. Sisters have a bond that is most of the time SO UNBREAKABLE. But your ex's sister might be mad at her sister for leaving her kids. Your ex is in the wrong here. She left you and your children. I mean I don't know what happened, but you always try and work it out, especially if there is children in the picture. If you need anymore advice please ask. Good Luck.
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