A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have recently got a new girlfriend who I seriously like and think I may be in love with her. We have been going out for 3 months and I've never been happier but it's just her past, it breaks my heart. She always found it hard to fit in, she never had many close friends, would do anything for anyone then they never appreciated it. She just basically tried to show them she'd like to be friends and no one really gave her a chance. She was really quiet and they just didn't seem to want to know so she spent a lot of time on her own. The reason I know this is because I met her at college, we are both the same age but were on totally different courses and I used to talk to her at lunch sometimes and she used to come and sit with us, so I know how hard it's been for her. Now she has always kept in touch with her best friend from school and they are very close and she goes out with my girlfriend's brother so they see each other even more and she is friends with some people that work but they also have their own lives. Its just so hard for her. I'm her first boyfriend so everything is new to her and she does seem to be quite emotional a lot of times as if she just wants to cry because of everything from the past but she just won't. Also I think with me being her first boyfriend and she's always wanted a boyfriend that loves her that with it being new it's quite overwhelming for her. I really love her, I have done for quite a while now but because I didn't want to hurt her I did't say anything until I new it wasn't just a crush. I really want to help her and make her feel loved, make her happy again and make her comfortable with me. I have only had two girlfriends so I'm not very exprienced so I'd love some advice. She seems to feel so lost and alone all the time, I just want to help, I can't stand seeing her like this anymore, I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, sweet and sassy +, writes (22 November 2007):
hey, first of all you cant solve this problem on ur own. her insecuraties are much deeper than that! i think she needs real help. asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of! just be there for her, take her out an spend alot of time with her the only problem with that tho is in a few years u mite start to feel traped cos that strong feeling of love does tend to fade away abit. then her clingyness may get tiaring. i think u should find out what shes intrested in an tell her to find a club or sumthing she could join an meet ppl with similar intrestes and hobbies.. hope i have helpt in some way. good luck xx s&s xx
A
female
reader, Jane74  +, writes (22 November 2007):
Hi there, yes, its sounds like she has been though a tough time. Just be there for her and ensure she knows that you really care for her, she needs to feel appreciated and loved and gets reassurance. This experience in the past will make her stronger, i know as i have experience this in the past myself, but i am stronger for it. The very best of luck, take care xx
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