A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello people of the web. my wife lost her brother and dad last year and ever scenes she has been finding any reason to fight with me and she is being very hatefull towards me i was just wondreing if there is any thing i can do to help her i want my wife back we have only been marred a year and a hafe and her dad and brother died 6 weeks of each other. her mother and my wife are both grif stricken. i just want to help my wife and her family most of all my wife i love her so much and i get worred that she is trying to push me away. please if there is anyone that can help please do thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SpiritStones  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Hello, Wow, your relationship started with a real test eh?This is just such a sad situation for all of you. It may be that she does not think you will understand as you have not been married that long. When she is hurtful to you, gently explain that you know she is hurting, and that you hurt for her, but in no way are her hateful words ok. She does not mean it and I know you know that, so choose to ignore the intent of the words and know she is really asking for your help. Seek some local grief counselling for her to go to, maybe with her mother. Let her know that you are there. But never try to hurry this up, I understand that you want your wife back, but your wife that was will never be again, her life has been touched by deep pain, but if you can be strong and supportive then you will get a stronger wife. Grief and pain is what makes us grow, we learn from pain if we want to and we always end up stronger for it. Just be patient and time will heal as it always does.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 She is probably trying to deal with this in her own way and that consists of pushing you away. She is obviously not coping with this very well. Maybe suggest that she goes to see a grievance counsellor to help her deal with this. She has showing she cannot cope on her own and I usually this means pushing those of us we are closest to away from us. Talk to her and tell her you are worried.
...............................
A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (9 December 2011):
 She needs time to grieve, and one of those steps is anger. Try to get her into some councelling, it sounds as if she needs it. Give her some space, but make sure she knows you love her and you are there for her always. Don't let these two tragedies turn into a third tragedy.... the break up of your marriage.
Offer to go to the councelling sessions with her until she settles in if that would be easier for her.
Good luck hun!
...............................
|
