A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife of 17 years is slowly losing interest in sex. Foreplay now consists of a week or two of begging. When we have sex its great and she seems to enjoy it. It is just so darn infrequent. Please help!Cold Shower Man
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, a husband +, writes (8 April 2008):
The most important thing you can do is to talk about it. Talking about sex is one of the most powerful forms of improvement in a marriage. Regardless of why (menopause or whatever), she needs to know how you are feeling and what would make you feel better. And that effort has to be reciprocated too.
Sincerely,
A Husband
www.iamhusband.com
A
female
reader, girlnextdoor19592003 +, writes (8 April 2008):
 You dont say her age, but 17 years of marriage says close to menopause....that is the GOOD news...there is help and it is not you (or god forbid an affair). The hard part is talking with her about menopause without getting a shoe thrown at you. Pick your time and place carefully...but DO talk about it...maybe read up about the hormmone replacements and get educated about the benefits. Try and think of it as a long and drawn out bout with PMS as a cruel trick of nature. But I promise the woman who comes out on the other side of this will be the best most sensual sex partner you have ever know....protect your head...and start talking...it's worth it. Keep me posted
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A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (7 April 2008):
Hi
from the age you show i expect that she is starting the change of life. the same happend top me a few years back. some women go in denial and others seek help. it took my wife a few years to go to the doctor who confirmed what she knew.
since she as been on HRT things are realy great and infact may be too much for met at times.
message if i can help. good luck. to all the women out there i am no expert and do understand this is a women thing
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 Seems to? With so little detail, I am just going to take one possible reason, she ain't enjoying it.
It wouldn't be the first marriage were a woman doesn't reach orgasm/has to fake it. If she ain't getting anything out of it, why should she bother?
A woman experiencing an orgasm does not 'seem' to enjoy it (considering you are an american I can only presume you didn't intend sarcasm) they enjoy it, and make it very very clear.
Not it might not be you, maybe stress or physical problems are intefering with her sexual enjoyment, but I would first try to find if she is really enjoying the sex with you or not. Even otherwise normal people can develop troubles, a simple thing as dryness may make the sex uncomfortable or even painful for her and she might be unwilling to tell you about this.
"When we have sex its great and she seems to enjoy it." This sentence just sends up a red flag, "its great" and "she seems to enjoy it" don't mix. It just sends me the signal that you are a bit to focussed on your own pleasure and ignore hers.
I might be wrong, but still, talk to her about what is going on.
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