A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 25, and my wife is 24, we've been married for 2 years now. In the past few months and weeks she's recently been causing "accidents" - and I know why. I found a note in the kitchen when tidying up one day saying "must cause accident so hunky firemen come!"I'm not normally jealous of her being with other men: far from it, I actually like the fact she's well-liked, whether by men or women.However, I feel she's putting her life in danger for this fetish. In order to try and stop it, when we had sex one night, I dressed up as a fireman with an outfit I ordered off a costume site online, but she said "It's no fun. I want a REAL fireman!" and then refused to have sex with me.She has again caused these "accidents" at home and I feel so embarrassed having to apologise for them.I've tried talking to my wife about it, but she said "It's not important! It's none of your business anyway!!" and stormed out of the room. She even refuses couples counselling.I'm worried about the whole thing, and just don't know how to deal with it - it's causing me stress and upset.How can I deal with this situation?? I need some advice on this, it would be very useful if you could help!Martyn
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Wow. I think your wife is kind of crazy. Don't be hard on yourself, because it seems like you're doing your best with a really strange situation. I think you need to give her an ultimatum and say "it's either this or me" because you can't keep letting her put her life and your property in danger for a fetish. Good Luck.
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (14 May 2008):
 well first off. those costumes from the stores are crap ( try a military wholesalers they can get ahold of used firemens outfits)
secondly it sounds like your wife is pyromaniac.
It also sounds like she's bored with home life.
something you might want to consider, search google for fireman 1 day courses. like one of them red letter day things where you experience it for the day. both of you go and maybe get it out of her system.. or it could just make it worse.
if you wife won't talk about it them.. i think you guys have bigger problems at hand than pyromania.. which is pretty bad but you know.
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Hi there,
You are her husband and she should not be behaving like this, tell her if she wants a real fireman, go and find one and just walk out! Sorry but this girl seriously needs a wakeup call and some help.
Is is important and it is your business...she is saying she wants to be with someone else besides you and ever refuses couples counselling...its looks like she has given up on your marriage and is trying everything possible to make you life complicated and a living hell.
your wife needs to put a stop to this, not only is she hurtful to you carrying on like this, she is wasting valuable emergency services time by causing accidents that takes them away from possible real emergencies.
I think you wife needs some sort of psychiatric help, this is not normal, i know people have there fetish but this is taking it a step to far. she is not only puttin her own life in danger but yours also.
Take care and hope this helped.
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (13 May 2008):
This really is bizarre! Its good that you're concerned from her, as it seems this apparent fetish has gone too far.
Have you considered that her behaviour may be 'attention seeking' as opposed to satiisfying her fetish?
Have you told her how much stress you shes putting you through? and the upsets shes causing? make sure she knows. Be firm as possible.
If she still refuses to oblige and stop her behaviour then talk about seeing a sex therapist or counsellor.Even if she refuses to see one it may shock her into stopping. Unusual and obssesive fetishs can be the result of unfinished childhood conflicts.
Good luck
xxx
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