A
male
age
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anonymous
writes:my wife cheated (one night stand) on me 4 years ago. it was a one night. she just confessed what she calls everything.....But she will not tell me her friends name. What's up with that???The reason that it is important is this guy works at a family resort that attracts rich folks and their kids.My wife takes full blame for for everything she even thought about doing. But....my wife said she was felt trapped once she was alone with this guy.
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male
reader, xtbone151x +, writes (21 December 2015):
It's this simple after what she did she has no rights. If it was me she would give up the name or she would soon be my EX NO B U L L S H I T!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): Let it go pal. Finding him will only bring you more anger and hate and possibly drive your relationship apart.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionupdate to-- Wife's One Night Stand...Thanks TO EVERYBODY FOR THEIR HELP. the whole question did not fit the first time so i will finish it here.after she started to feel the aggressive vibe she had intercourse with the guy and thought that would be it.but not to be. the guy started insisting on more and kinker sex. really thinking that she was in trouble she decided she had to do something which was to VERY loudly resist in every way, He only then let her leave. because of the borderline assault nature of this one night stand i thought maybe i should try to find the guy. What do you think?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): Details are very necessary. Because you will be wondering. It will eat say at you. It did at me. Id rather know everything and find a way to put it behind me than not know.
You have all the power here. She confessed to cheating. She needs your forgiveness if she at all loves you and wants to keep the marriage. Tell her, you want to forgive her; but list the things you need for that to happen. And be honest. If YOU need a name. Make sure she knows it.
What if she doesn't want to tell you because you know him? Or she wants to keep talking to him as a friend and doesn't want you suspicious?
Lay down your ground rules and stick to em. If she loves you and really wants forgiveness she needs to do what you want. Period
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): I dont think details are necessary pal. They would only hurt you and would make you resent her and believe if me if she told you the name, youd go and find him and beat his a$$ cause youre so pissed. This is isnt worth that kind of energy emotionally but it is worth it to find out the trust level in the relationship and where its at. If she's been faithful to you since then, Id say you have nothing to worry about and move on. If she's been a little unsure of committment, then thats for you two to discuss and come to a conclusion on. Good luck man. Forget the guy, he aint $hit :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthere are some big lies going on here but i know she hates pervs/preditors, she felt the fear of GOD and is lucky she was not a statistic. but she knew that going in. but trying to protect does not fit her personality..that's the whole deal that freaks me out about her not telling me the guys name!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your time to help me through this mess..you are the Best
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Full disclosure at this point. If she opened the can of worms, she'd better have out with all of it. If not,it's up to you to decide if you are Ok with that, but personally, you have every right to hear the full smash if you want. But you need to ask yourself if you want to. Putting a name with a face can be very upsetting to you. Seriously,do you want to cringe every time you hear the name "Chris" or "Dave", or whatever the name? (no offense to Chris' or Dave's out there...just picked 2 names). It can really mess with you.
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Sorry that you are going through this. I dont think that the name of the guy is really relevant, however I do think that you deserve to know all the details. You have been the one that has been wronged.
Dont allow your wife to sweep everything under the rug and not discuss it - IMHO your wife went out to have the one night stand and I wonder now at her reasoning in telling you about it. Is it because the other man is married and his wife might expose the affair?
Eventhough the ONS was 4 years ago, telling you now has shown that your marriage is a lie, you have been doing the faithful husband, happy family bit but she has been cheating.
I am sure if you start digging through old mobile records etc you will find that there is more to this than she is telling you.
It also shows her lack of respect for you, that she could go and sleep with another man and then come home and sleep with you without even considering the possibility of STD's.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): She might have meant she felt emotionally trapped. She could have been leading him on and then faced with the inpending sexual act, she felt trapped in the sense that she felt she had to go through with it. If it was a one off incident and you are willing to work through it. Then it might be better to forget about the mystery man and concentrate on getting your marriage sorted out. More important to ask why she did it, rather than who she did it with.
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male
reader, soon567 +, writes (25 March 2011):
Who cares if she wants to move on, he has a right to know every little detail. This is how STD is tranmmitted from one person to the next. Heck you need answer and you need them now. She would be out of my house if the mouth is closed.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): I think that you have the right to know the details. Often, not knowing hurts more than the crude truth, because you keep wondering.Maybe you could tell her that you prefer to be hurt once, knowing that the pain will fade away and heal week after week, until it doesn't hurt anymore, than to live in the doubt, and wonder every time you hear a guy's name if it's him...
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Did you forgive her? Now forget that and go on with your lives.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Trapped??....This story doesn't pass the smell test. I think that your wife is a habitual cheater, and what happened in this instant is probably a little different from her version, although a verbal altercation probably did ensue between her and her lover which made her feel guilty after the fact. I would not be surprised if they did have wild and passionate sex, only to uncover that he rejected her one night on the trip because he went after some other hot MILF vacationing at the resort.....she ended up feeling used and rejected.I've been hooking up with a married woman for quite some time and take it from me...married women who go on vacations together to exotic resorts is code word for "getting your freak on", or looking for some "strange". Make no mistake about it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): Either it's consensual or it's rape. No in-between bullshit.
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Unless she was raped, this is just between you and her, and should stay that way... It's a little late to call some guy out on a one night stand that happened over 4 years ago.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2011): I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, and it's a good sign that your wife seems to accept that what she did was wrong. But the "what she calls everything" and holding back more info it's what's called Trickle Truth, and many, many unfaithful spouses do it. Your desire to know the details--your feeling that you have a right to know--is equally if not more common. The survivinginfidelity.com forums are full of people in your situation, and you'd probably benefit from sharing your story there as well as here.
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male
reader, Tecno258  +, writes (25 March 2011):
 Maybe she thinks that telling to the name of that person would get him into more trouble or make things more complicated when all she wants to do is move on.
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