| A
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: A co worker gave me their business card by putting it in my front shirt pocket (I'm a waiter). She wants to cover a shift of mine. I get home and I put the card on the counter and leave to pick up my wife. When we get home, I take her jacket and put it on the counter, covering the card. I see it was covered and pull it out and explain to my wife the circumstance. She flips out and walks out the house, asking why was I trying to cover the woman's business card and why she put it in my front pocket. She ends up sleeping at her friend's house that night. She wouldn't answer my calls. Now I'm at work and I do not know where she is and she answers all my questions with mumble. I love my wife very much and I would never cheat, let alone even think about it. She's pregnant with my 1st child. How do I handle the situation?
View related questions:
at work, co-worker Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (7 September 2008):
 It is tough when the pregnancy hormones kick in. She isn't herself.
I would tend, as far as possible to keep this between you and her and not to involve other people.
Your role as her husband in this situation is to be calm, reassuring, consistent and forgiving. Put a lot of love in her direction but don't be apologetic - don't get cornered into apologising for something that you haven't done.
This is nothing to do with what you've written but, if you haven't already, do take an active interest in her pregnancy. Force yourself to take an interest in any books or magazines about pregnancy that she is reading. It is a big thing that she is going through and she needs continuing reassurance that you are in it with her.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 September 2008):
Wow! I think your wife is having a mild over reaction... I was not sure why she would act like this until you explained it all at the end - "she is pregnant with my first child."
Hormones are going to be going through her at a mile a minute, and if these things can force your body to grow a human child then you can sure as hell bet they are going to have an affect on her rationality.
Also, it is every woman's WORST fear that you get pregnant to a guy and they then leave you. This fear has already been through her head so the first hint of anything and it all goes full throttle.
I think you need to start calling her friends, family, co-workers, local shop owners, everyone. Beg then to pass on messages. Explain the whole situation to them and get them on your side. If you tell her she's over reacting and being irrational then she may punch you. If they talk to her about it then she might listen.
Then you just have to be ready with a huge bunch of flowers and make her see that she is the only woman you could ever look at.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): Have the co-worker call and verify that she gave you the card and the reasons for it. Hopefully she's either married or has a boyfriend and can verify her relationship status; better if the husband/boyfriend can call. If she's single, that will be another problem. Does your wife know this woman, has she been jealous of her before?
Your wife's pregnant, and her changing hormones will make her feel and do very non-normal things at times. She will also feel insecure due to her feeling vulnerable; if you *did* decide to leave, she'd be in real trouble. She'll need lots of reassurances, which I'm certain you'll be happy to give.
Keep calling and calmly talking to/with her; repeat the same message each time you talk. Ask her to keep in touch, your not knowing where she is worries you and you need to know that the two of them are safe.
I'd also call her parents and explain matters to them; she's going to call them eventually, and cheaters aren't going to call the wronged spouse and calmly explain what's going on. You don't need to ask for their help, just explain matters to them.
Best of luck, when she calms down and comes back, have a talk and explain things face to face.
...............................
|
