A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,We have been married for 19 months now. Originally both are from India. I am in the US since 2006, went back home got married (in 2010 May) and came back with my wife. Though we were complete strangers we started liking each other and everything was great! I work in research and my wife recently joined me at work. One of the ladies has issues with my wife may be because she is a new comer and even when my wife asks her anything she completely ignores her and does not answer her. I am sure she does not like my wife and so does my wife. The problem now, is that the lady talks to me as part of our job, of course only work related issues while she does not even speak a word with my wife standing next to me, in all meetings, office etc. She takes care of some paperwork for my wife and she is deliberately ignores her work and does not care to inform. My wife is upset with the lady talking to me and we fought several times on this. I could not say to the lady please stop talking to me, because its work related talk, and I could not force her to talk nicely with my wife.Now, my wife is adamant about leaving me and going to India for a month or more. She feels bad, lonely and with out support. I may have done wrong. But I love her and want her to stay with me. My conversation was always within context of work yet my wife cannot tolerate it. She is very sensitive and feels bullied by the lady at work.Please advice - how do I resolve the issue? What should I tell my wife to do or not to do? She wants to leave in a week! Please help asap.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again,My situation has not changed much. We decided that we will handle this together. However, things are getting complicated.The lady at work is repeatedly asking my wife. To repeat whatever she asks and is trying to give A picture that her English is hard to understand and is bent upon making everyone else feel that it's indeed true, although the fact is my wife can speak clearly and rest of the people can understand her.My wife is really pissed of that I did not intrude. Thinks I should onfront the lady. The lady is making all out efforts to put my wife in bad situations and its causing more troubleThere are many similar incidents where these kind of things are happening and I am not sure how to confront. The woman at work and still stay professional please guide me in this regard with some specific advice like what exactly to do?Thank you !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNow, all is well at home. My wife has dropped the plan of going to India, especially since she got promoted last month. We both are shy individuals and the lady at work is a demanding, and condescending woman. Hopefully things will get better.
I plan to make my wife feel special. I am thinking of taking time out for just her on weekends and do some fun stuff that she enjoys. As for American dream, its a tough hard route. Both of us are MDs and are struggling to get into medical residencies given the heavy competition, so meanwhile we are enjoying clinical research and gaining some significant experience.
Well, babies can wait since we both need to be stable financially, but yes a girl and a boy would be great! Thanks again for your input.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2011): I'm glad you have decided to be more proactive. As I've said before that woman is a cow, she has no respect for herself.
Is great to hear that u and your wife are going to tackle her together . This shows a united hb and wife.
Is your wife still going to India for a while? Or have u managed to convince her to stay on.
As per my previous response: be happy, love your wife and when the time is right, make some babies. Oh and enjoy the American dream.
LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your advice! Appreciate you taking your time to address my situation. When I meant I may have done wrong, I only meant to say that I did not confront the lady at work, and that is only because I did not want to create a hostile situation at work. My boss trusts me and my wife's work, and that is another reason she got promoted recently.But, yeah we talked about this and we decided that my wife will counter her if the lady at work repeats this, and I will back her in her decisions. There have not been any private conversations with lady at work, and nor do I intend to. I absolutely love my wife and cannot imagine anyone can takes her place. She loves me like crazy, and I want the best for both of us. I am going to be stern with this lady, and ignore her as much as possible, and have already started doing this and see that now the lady still tries to do the same things.Hopefully I will put in more effort!Thanks, and will appreciate more inputs!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): the lady at work is an absolute cow. she has no respect for herself therefore she has no respect for your wife. can you not include your wife in your conversation. eg. so what do you think,xxxxx. then your wife can interact with you and her.sometimes you can also keep communication to a bare minimum. try ignoring the lady as well.this woman is deliberatly ignoring your wife. she is rude.and most of all she is unkind. her methods are pure evil and she takes joy in humiliating your wife. i feel for your wife. she is well within her rights to feel the way she does BUT dont let the cow at work destroy your good marriage. subtle hints to get her to back off will also work.tell your wife not to go to India. do not give that woman the satisfaction of hurting your wife.hey op, be happy, make some babies. and live a good life with your lovely wife.
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A
female
reader, InLoveW/Love +, writes (14 October 2011):
The lady at your job likes you. Which is why she has such disdain for your wife. I think you might be a little insensitive. Your wife being so quick to want to return to India suggests that she is homesick and probably feeling isolated. Do something to make her feel special. And I don't mean once. Maybe start a weekly tradition that is centered around her, to make her happy.Oh and DO NOT return this other woman's friendliness towards you. She is disrespecting your wife, blatantly, and if you are nice to her your wife will consider this a slap in the face to her and your marriage. You are her husband, your job is to defend and protect her. Keep your conversations with the mean woman short, don't smile or make jokes with her. If you care about your marriage you will avoid this woman as much as possible.I get that you aren't giving the whole story. It seems unlikely to want a divorce over one bitchy woman at work. You've said you might have done wrong. What does that mean? There is a deeper issue here. Find it and fix it.
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