A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 5 years. The wife is OCD, and Has a lot of anxiety. Mostly with people. Which made me pull away from a lot of my friends because the relationship was new, and good. I wanted to be just with her, and no one else. But her lack of wanting to hang with them made me lose quite a few friends. But here we are years later, a horrible routine. Get up, work, dinner, tv, and sleep. No intimacy. Which is mostly my fault. I am pretty depressed lately. I have been seeing someone about it. and in the last couple weeks she has been pulling away more and more. I started getting guitar lessons on Tuesday to get a hobby, per my counselor, and when I got back she wouldn't talk to me. I even asked if she wanted to talk about it. SHe said no. And we have barely spoken since. What started this massive decline was that I told her that I felt we were growing apart. Felt like we were being more friend and roommates than man and wife. Both due to my depression and her and I not really connecting on an intimate level. I was hoping that this would open her up, so we could work together on it. She got really hurt and pulled away. A couple days later, I got her to open up about it. And we spoke, and things got a bit better, but now it started up again. I can't handle this. With my depression and now with her being so distant. I almost just want to end this. Let her do her thing, and let me get help. Since I think a lot of my depression has to do with our relationship and how it has changed both of us. Any insight on this? I sadly think about being alone a lot and it makes me relax. But because I am depressed, depressed people like to be alone. It feeds that feeling. So I am not sure what to do.
View related questions:
depressed, roommate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): This is the OP. No idea how to verify. But, Thanks for the Doctor bit. I am meeting a new Counselor next week. I will speak to him about the possible Meds idea. Sadly I am most depressed when I am at home... or thinking about being home. The best I have felt in 3-6 months was the other day when I had it off from work, and she was at work. I spent the day doing chores. And I was amazingly upbeat that day. It ended as soon as I got home though.
I have spoken with her about counseling when I first spoke with her about my feelings change. She said she would do it as soon as she got her insurance to cover it. But that was a month ago, I haven't brought it up for fear of an out burst. But I want to.
Grant, you are right about the decision when I am depressed. I need to make that one with a clear head. Right now all I dwell on is my sadness and hopelessness of this relationship. I need to have a clear head, then get counseling with her and if things get better. Great.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (14 October 2011):
 You recognize that you're depressed -- that's a good start. You mention that you've been seeing a counsellor -- that's great, but have you seen a doctor? I have to think that making major life decisions, like leaving your marriage, while you are depressed isn't necessarily the best thing to do. As helpful as counselling can be, perhaps medical intervention (antidepressants?) would be smart before you make a life-changing decision like divorce. Please consult a qualified physician!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): Maybe you and your wife should see a marriage counselor. They've helped lots of couples. You have to get her to talk to you. You can't let her ignore you. Don't force her to, just do it calmly and sit down to talk.
...............................
|
