A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes: What do i do? I am a married man in my late fifties, who has a very healthy normal sex drive...my wife, who i love, is healthy and the same age as me can go more a week without showing ANY interest in making love...I think that 1-2 times a week would be wonderfull....is that asking too much? When we do make love its great for both of us, but It seems like forever until shes interested again..... I really dont want to cheat on her, or even resort to masturbation....Im very frustrated...please ladies, dont tell me to have patience and wait for her...been there done that..and the waiting is becoming harder and harder to do....do all women lose interest, once they hit a certain age?? Why??
View related questions:
married man, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2017): Once a week should be something you can live with. That is the norm of many even young couples.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2017): What, 1-2 times per week and you are frustrated? Try 1-2 times per year. I'm in my late 50s now. My wife is 62, has gone through menopause, and has no interest in sex. She has painful intercourse now. We've been to the doctors. She refuses to do hormone replacement therapy as cancer runs in the female side of her family. So now I get to learn how to be abstinent. We've been to counselors, tried to schedule sex. We've been down the road.I NOW HAVE DEPRESSION. I take meds now that have essentially left me with issues of ED. I'm adjusting my mess to hopefully reduce the problem.I'm too damn young to be using Viagra, so I've resorted to seeing escorts to help keep me in the game. So, if you think you have it bad, just wait.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 September 2017):
 If your wife is in your age range she is peri-menopausal, or post-menopausal, so you have your " why " in spades.
Hormonal changes, and the physical and psychological discomfort they cause, varies widely and affect some women much more, and some others much less. So menopause it's not per se the end of a woman's sex life, and it does not mean that she stops being interested in sex, full stop. But in many, many cases , she will lose intetest in having sex OFTEN, or as often than before.
...............................
A
female
reader, Xena Bee +, writes (2 September 2017):
So, I have the same problem in reverse. Hubby has almost no sex drive (51 and sedentary, otherwise healthy). My preference would be daily. I could happily make due with every other day. Once a week seems like agony, and finally with enough begging I may get to be with him two times/month. We've talked about this at length. He doesn't masterbate (did a lot as a younger man, but not any since we have met because I have, literally, never turned him down.) The thing that galls me is we met less than 5 years ago and were together, on average, at least once a day for the first year or so. I feel like I've been sold a bill of goods, honestly. So, here's what I have figured out. Hormonally, we are very different. I, at 48, can't get over my damn self, sexually. I just need it all the time (haven't always been like this. First marriage we were together several times a week and I always enjoyed sex a lot, but I could go without as life/kids/work dictated.). He, however, pretty much only gets morning wood. Not much more happening these days. I really think it's age. His attitude is good. He's making an effort, he's unhappy I'm unhappy, but he just doesn't think about sex. He's about work, mainly, because we have been struggling financially...and that kind of stress will definitely take a toll on one's sex life.We have tried some homeopathic supplements with good results. We just can't afford them right now. Things with maca root are good for men. I don't know what is good for women. I do know that when I'm on a good quality supplement (NOT the drug store kind...but a nuetraceutical company with natural formulas from a health food store or direct selling company like Shaklee or Melaleuca) I have more energy in the evenings as we get into bed, I sleep better, and it helps my mood, too. Maybe you could talk to her and offer that as a possible answer? I hope you are telling her how you are struggling. I can't imagine, for a normal guy, what that's like if, at my age and as a woman, I'm about to jump off a cliff (not seriously, but you know what I mean...I'm totally miserable).Please definitely tell her. But be ready to offer solutions. A dedication to introducing more romance--and follow up on it. Looking for a supplement. Doing things to lift the stress off of her. There's nothing I wouldn't try to save our marriage. I'm sure you are the same.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2017): No, speaking as a woman in your age group, we don't all lose interest in sex. In fact my boyfriend and I have pretty vital sex life. I agree with Nora B. You can have that conversation with her. Ask her if there is something she would like in particular. Maybe there's something she'd like you to do or something new she would like to try. Make some special time for romance and experimentation. Hopefully she will be willing to meet you halfway. Good luck!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2017): It is usually the opposite case. Frankly you have to either masturbate or cheat or in the extreme seperate. No other choice. If she gives in after talking to her, you will only feel remorse for making love to her knowing she doesnt want it.
...............................
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (2 September 2017):
You are a very lucky man to be so healthy,and have a healthy wife.The answer is NO...all women do not lose interest in sex once they hit a certain age.However some people have a higher sex drive than others,so that is just the way they are .Would you consider talking to your wife on this matter,explain to her how you feel.Ask her how she feels on this matter.Perhaps arrange a romantic dinner,with flowers.A weekend away....or something that you know she might like.Women always enjoy the romance of the situation.No i am not going to tell you have patience,but rather kindness and commonsense.As you stated you love your wife....hopefully you will not endanger the many years of married life.Try and get this sorted with kindness and understanding for your wife of many years.Kind Regards NORA B.
...............................
|
